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11 May 2003 @ 01:14 am
seven confessions  
1. For dinner I had angel food cake, chocolate ice cream, strawberries, whipped cream, and Dilettante hot chocolate sauce. I had another bowlful just now before bed.

2. I spent twenty minutes tonight surfing hot anal porn sites, studying assholes, because reading that horrible rape story the other day lodged a Tragically Wrong Picture in my imagination that I feel the need to overwrite, in lieu of actually scrubbing my brain clean. I don't believe that's worked yet. I'm afraid this may be one of those mental images that intrudes into my fantasies at inopportune moments twenty years from now.

3. I logged off my computer for the night, got into bed, and then addictively logged on again with my laptop.

4. I've been having Spike/Riley fantasies all night, where they fuck endlessly to bluesy Stevie Ray Vaughan songs.

5. I channel surfed into an episode of American QAF and by accident ended up liking it. It was the one where Brian pays for Justin's tuition, and the lesbians talk about having another baby, and Emmet cheats on Ted, and Jesus Christ, how the fuck do I know all their names? You might think this is nothing remarkable, but in fact I have the memory of a spaghetti collander for names, so this is just scary.

6. I'm not wearing any pants! ...of course, I'm in bed about to turn in for the night, rather than coming to you live from the Rainbow Room, so that's perhaps not terribly exciting. A number six was needed here, however, and unfortunately I did not once shoot a man just to watch him bleed.

Here you go: when I was finishing off my second bowl of ice cream, the last several cross-sections of strawberries reminded me of romanticized anuses. Rosebud!

7. Today I drove two blocks uphill and then parked, so that I wouldn't have to walk uphill to the CD store. I am just. that. lazy.



I'm wondering why I didn't buy any other Stevie Ray Vaughan CDs sooner. There is no bad here. With all respect to the man and his memory, he plays the guitar like he's fellating it. He plays. Not played. He still plays.

My Spike fucks the way Stevie plays guitar. It's a holy fuck.



Quite unexpectedly, after dicking around all day, I got some writing done today on that Goddamn Sidelines Story. I think that's how I'm going to refer to it from now on: That Goddamn Sidelines Story. I enjoyed the chunks of dialogue that I was able to dislodge from my head onto the page; however, it cannot be overstated just how sick I am of this story that I've been working on for four fucking months. It's really not a four-month story, either. A four-month story would be four times as long and four times as clever.



I am going to turn off my light now and think some more about how Riley needs to come up behind Spike and slide his arms around his waist and kiss his jaw.
 
 
 
Esseneessene on May 11th, 2003 01:37 am (UTC)
Stevie Ray is a god. More good fucking music? Santana--not the new stuff, the old school stuff. Samba Pa Ti and Black Magic Woman? Oh yah.

Mmmmm...ice cream. ::dashes off to get a bowl::
jodyorjen on May 11th, 2003 02:27 am (UTC)
I am going to turn off my light now and think some more about how Riley needs to come up behind Spike and slide his arms around his waist and kiss his jaw.

You write it, I'll read it. I am so your bitch.
yonmei on May 11th, 2003 03:54 am (UTC)
I am going to turn off my light now and think some more about how Riley needs to come up behind Spike and slide his arms around his waist and kiss his jaw.

Dream pretty dreams.

On the whole, I think I would rather you didn't have Riley/Spike fantasies, but hey, you write, I read. What's more embarrassing, you write, I drool.
the upper echelons of mediocritythe_star_fish on May 11th, 2003 04:41 am (UTC)
SRV is an absolute GOD. It doesn't even matter what the words are he's singing, it all sounds like "why aren't you fucking right now?" if you listen to the guitar.

I need to go lie down now.
twistedchick on May 11th, 2003 05:46 am (UTC)
Better Spike/Riley than Snape/Riley, which is what my not-awake brain thought it saw at first.
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 07:27 am (UTC)
Oh, my bad. That's what I meant to write, of course. Snape/Riley. Snape/Riley! Mmmmmm.
yonmei on May 11th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
Snape/Riley! Oh yes, I can definitely see that.
Hepcatnwhepcat on May 11th, 2003 07:52 am (UTC)
Heading off to breakfast in a minute, but before I forget I wanted to ask which rape fic you're referring to. I read a rec on a rape story on a board I frequent that raved about the handling of the material, but I've been "eh" or worse about some of the recs there, so I'd love a warning if it's something I won't be able to pry out of my head.

(And if you don't to anti-rec in public, feel free to email.)

Thanks!
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 11:24 am (UTC)
You really, really, really do *not* want to know what the rape story is. No one, trust me, would rave about this story. I seriously do not want to point anyone to this story. Once you've read it, you can't unread it. It's Buff/mutant swim team, and it's really grotesque.

However, as I know from personal experience that these things drive people crazy, here's the board where I found the story link. You can eventually track it down, if you're willing to put in some clicks. I'd advise against it.

http://groups.msn.com/NocookieforYouBadBuffyFic/messages.msnw
Hepcatnwhepcat on May 11th, 2003 11:28 am (UTC)
Oh believe me, I wasn't planning to track it down and read it. I just wanted to be sure it wasn't the one I saw recced, because I was thinking of reading that one. Which I could be talked out of if they were one and the same.

Yeah, there are some things that cannot be pried out of the brain and you can get those stuffed in your skull without trying, so I'm not going to go searching any out. (Gee, I sound like Principal Wood!)

Thanks for the warning!
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 11:32 am (UTC)
Oh believe me, I wasn't planning to track it down and read it. I just wanted to be sure it wasn't the one I saw recced, because I was thinking of reading that one. Which I could be talked out of if they were one and the same.

Oh good. I feel much relieved now--and I could have spared people the temptation of a link! Oh well.
Hepcatnwhepcat on May 11th, 2003 11:42 am (UTC)
Oh good. I feel much relieved now

Oh, I trust you in these matters. If you say something's going to put Bad Touch details in my head, I am soooo not screwing around with it.
Herself_nyc: Spike reacts to naked Xanderherself_nyc on May 11th, 2003 08:23 am (UTC)
1. I also want to know what the rape story was.

2. Dilettante chocolate sauce! Oh, I know it!

3. Spike/Riley could work for me, from YOU.

4. I'm so glad you liked QaF! (I feel weirdly proprietary about it.) Isn't Brian just a dreamboat? Eventually, after I insert many subliminal messages to you into all my posts and emails, you will write me a hot Brian/Spike PWP. You Will, Oscar, You Will.

5. Which Stevie Ray Vaughn songs do you love? I've never really heard him--I'll try to download some.

6. Can't wait to see the Goddamn Sidelines bits.
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 11:31 am (UTC)
You should have had seven responses, for parity.

1. I also want to know what the rape story was.

You really don't. But see reply to nwhepcat.

4. I'm so glad you liked QaF! (I feel weirdly proprietary about it.) Isn't Brian just a dreamboat?

He did in fact endear himself to me when he took Michael to a party, pointed out a guy to him across the room and said, "I'm going to wear out his jaw on my dick." He was also quite cute as he Finally Had An Expression and snuck up behind Michael outside the shop, then danced back from him and laughed.

...you will write me a hot Brian/Spike PWP. You Will, Oscar, You Will.

Probably not, but I may envision one. {g}

5. Which Stevie Ray Vaughn songs do you love? I've never really heard him--I'll try to download some.

Oh, man. You should just buy the CDs. Seriously. But:

* Tin Pan Alley (which is a little different vocally than some of his others, but once you hear the opening, you'll be hooked)
* The Things (That) I Used to Do
* Texas Flood
* Testify
* Scuttle Buttin'
* Pride and Joy
* Lenny

And many more.
for you I'd bleed myself dryboniblithe on May 11th, 2003 08:37 am (UTC)
Today I drove two blocks uphill and then parked, so that I wouldn't have to walk uphill to the CD store. I am just. that. lazy.

*muses*

But didn't you then have to walk uphill to get back to your car? Theoretically, carrying a heavy bag full of newly purchased CDs?
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 11:33 am (UTC)
Er, no. Then I walked to my car downhill. ;)
miriam heddymiriam_heddy on May 11th, 2003 10:41 am (UTC)
Studying assholes
Okay, so after 20 minutes of studying, what did you figure out about them?

Seriously, I've never dedicated 20 minutes of my life to studying assholes in porn (I assume you meant visual, and not written?). So could you, like, deliver a Cliff's Notes summary of your findings? Anything interesting out there in asshole-land?
Anna S.eliade on May 11th, 2003 11:36 am (UTC)
Re: Studying assholes
Visual assholes, yes. Well, it was hard to find free pictures of penetration, is what I mostly found. But, you know, they're about what you'd expect. Small for the most part, and puckered--and actually not very visible when a dick is being crammed inside. And men's asses are very white, and their dicks very red in contrast, which is something I'd let myself forget.

I did see one gaping asshole--a woman's--which I wish I hadn't seen, not long after which I went to bed a sadder, wiser sleepier, stupider woman.
The Slash Maker: lance's pushvirgulesmith on May 12th, 2003 05:54 am (UTC)
I've used the visual images to blast out imagined thoughts treatment before. Occasionally it works. Usually though, I am forced to listen to loud music while reading something that replaces the ucky images with Hot! images.

Apparently my imagination needs to be fed to overwrite itself.

But yes, I must agree that SRV's guitar is sex. Um yep.