How much worse then, to imagine writing something like that for publication. I'd probably spend years writing and researching it, and at the end I'd be like, "Okay, why the fuck did I write a gay Nazi spy romance set sixty years before I was even born?" The very idea is politically suspect and in fact rather ludicrous. Can you say, Kiss of the Spider Woman?
I don't even get, to start with, how people can write historically without years of preparation. I guess that's what some people have--immersion in historical studies of a period which creates confidence that their writing has accuracy of detail. But me, personally, I feel enough like a faker now that any attempt to write outside what I know would probably rip me into little pieces.
Except I don't know a whole lot. Which goes back to the question of why I don't write pro fiction: because I have no sense of authenticity even as a human being. If I tried to write a book about a thirtyish woman living in Seattle, I'd still feel like I was missing the truth, because my own life is not representative. It's lame. It's far easier to make up shit in the Buffyverse than to try to capture real life. Because I don't know what that is.
Another cool thing about fan-fiction is that you have a set of readers who care already about the characters and what you do to them. Whereas every original novel is a learning curve, a crap shoot. Like, if I tried to write an original novel about a group of friends in California who battle evil and then one day evil takes over their town and demons subjugate them, etc etc--Noir--what's the point, really? I'd just be writing one more book to compete against thousands of other fantasy and sci-fi books out there, and I don't even know why I'd be writing.
I'm not big on religion, but to make an analogy, it's like Buffy and gang are gods and goddesses, their canon is the Bible, their metaphysics is a belief system, their adventures are our myths, and the ritual of weekly watching is our communal celebration--if you have all this, why would you go off and create your own fringe religion, with some made-up god to worship?
That analogy goes back to the feeling I've held for years, that television shows are often like Homeric myths--folk tales shared and circulated by people within a culture, with culture heroes and the bardic retelling of stories, each author reworking canon with her own unique voice, giving it her imprint.
Of course, that's a failed analogy because what if Joss had never thought up Buffy and made it happen? Then Star Trek would be the only one true universe, Kirk the only god...scary thought. And I have nothing against original works. I love original works. I just apparently can't figure out how to write them.
Yadda yadda. I should be making dinner, but it seems so much effort to chop things and cook them and eat.