Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.


I can't believe it's ten o'clock. I slept the day away, ran none of the errands I needed to, and wrote not at all. I can tell I've been sleeping too much when I wake up from weird, convoluted nightmares with my lips tingling. The tingling lips seems to be a warning sign that my entire body is about to lapse into a coma.

Now I am watching soft-core porn on Showtime and trying to figure out whether to grab the waning tail of the day and write, or just cultivate my slump. Thought: in the cheesy world of porn, soft-core porn would be cream cheese. Cream cheese spread...on crackers. Heh.

Sigh. Writing. I hate my current noir story. And I don't know what I want. One minute I want it to be light and airy and comic--an inconsequential cream puff of an episode--the next minute, I want it to be profound and intensely significant, arc-wise. I also intended it to be complexly plotted, like a puzzle ring or a sailor's knot, but it's wearing my ass down. More than anything, I want it to be both dramatically consistent and wildly surprising. But what seems most consistent over the course of the series is its lack of surprise; it often feels by-the-numbers. I think canon can often spring surprises that in fan-fiction might seem off, or contrived--who would have predicted that Spike and Anya would sleep together? Gah. I just need to bite down hard and trudge forward. My irritation with a story might not always be an indication of its quality--I was disappointed with "Carnival" by the time I finished, but that seems to be a reader favorite. And yet telling myself these things doesn't help me right now.

It would be wrong to have pie. It would be wrong to have pie. It would be wrong to have pie.

P.S. I can't decide if it's my browser that's driving me mad, or LJ. This entry keeps disappearing and then reappearing, as do various comment updates on other people's entries. Is anyone else experiencing stuff like this?

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