Editing to cutaway, because I'm sick of seeing this list.
5 edible
1. Colin Farrell
2. Christian Kane
3. Elijah Wood
4. Taye Diggs
5. Seth Green
5 actors whose agents should be finding them better movies to star in
1. Edward Norton
2. Jason Lee
3. John Cusack
4. Damon Affleck
5. Hugh Grant
5 actors who should just go the fuck away
1. Jason Biggs
2. Rob Schneider
3. Jamie Foxx
4. John Travolta
5. Martin Lawrence
(* Adam Sandler was removed from this list by virtue of "Punch-Drunk Love." Carrot Top was not included because he simply must die.)
5 actors who should co-star in a gay James Bond movie
1. Rupert Everett
2. Jude Law
3. Hugh Jackman
4. Guy Pearce
5. Alan Rickman
5 actors whose careers confuse me for very different reasons
1. Val Kilmer
2. Alec Baldwin
3. Kyle MacLachlan
4. Treat Williams
5. Jason Biggs
5 talented but increasingly ubiquitous character actors who should enjoy themselves a little vacation
1. Jeremy Piven
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman
3. Joe Pantoliano
4. Brian Cox
5. Ving Rhames (or, you know, just stop making TV commercials)
Dude, it's time to retire
1. Al Pacino
2. Jack Nicholson
3. Robert De Niro
4. Marlon Brando
5. Michael Douglas