Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.
eliade

Fiber!

I just edited some client text that was truly, mind-bogglingly, and rather amusingly bad--at least, if you don't have a faux cold, a headache, and a death wish. First, try to imagine a multi-page document riddled with typos, grammatically incorrect phrases, subject-verb disagreement, and odd word choices that suggest a German-to-English translation. Now imagine someone taking some random word--say, "fiber"--and strewing it liberally and bewilderingly throughout the text to produce bizarre results. For instance (not a real example):
The patented Healthy fiber Back Bag has been designed to hang fiber asymmetrically, contouring naturally to the curve of your fiber back and reducing fiber pressure points that cause fiber stress. The ergonomic design makes your fiber load feel up to one third lighter. Use the Healthy Back Bag as a carry-on, urban tote, baby fiber bag, gym bag or everyday fiber bag…it’s up to you. The bag is versatile, attractive, fiber and suited for men and women. Fiber. The interior is fiber fashioned into several pockets that provide optimum fiber comfort, organization and security.
Now imagine as well that the client copywriter has used, for this innocuous product, the most suggestive phrases possible to unintentionally humorous effect, such as "water sports," "teen facials," "penetrate," and "in-and-out surprise!"

Yes. Quite fortunately for all concerned, I have learned that none of my pages need to go live today, and we now have some time to get edited copy approved. Yay.

Salt and vinegar potato chips: yay.

Friday: yay.


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