So, there's this particular cologne that some guys wear--many gay guys, I anecdotally feel, but also straight ones--that is the single most obnoxious force of evil in the universe. I don't know what it is, but it's *always* strong and gagworthy, and some day I'm going to have to squinch up my face, hold my nose, and take the plunge to ask one of these guys what they're wearing. And then bomb the factory.
Decaf mocha with light syrup and extra whipped cream: a counterbalancing force of good in the universe.