Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

Equal Opportunity Mocking

Slasher1: Dude. Elf in tights.
Slasher2: Where?! Where?!
Slasher1: Twelve o'clock--there, with the locks of golden hair kissed by the lips of a desirous sun!
Slasher2: Ohmigod! Tights! His calves, his thighs, his manly package!
Slasher1: Did you see that, did you see that?! He looked at the Ranger with a Deep And Meaningful Glance.
Slasher2: Are you sure? I thought he was looking at that porkchop with a Deep and Meaningful Look of Hunger.
Slasher1: No, his glance impacted 70 degrees north, meeting the Ranger's fathomless and cerulean eyes. Here...I'll rewind.
Slasher2: Oh...oh, I think you're right. That was definitely a DAMG. And there was eyelash batting.
Slasher1: They are *so* doing it.
Slasher2: Totally. Theirloveissopure!
Slasher1: And eternal, like the mountains o'erlooking the dappled plain, unbroken by any--oh! Oh! Get out of there!
Slasher2: God, I hate how they just gratuitously insert some melon-breasted bimbo into a scene to perpetuate the Dominant Heterosexual Cultural Paradigm of Romantic Love.
Slasher1: Word.
Slasher2: Oh no, she's coming between them--bitch!
Slasher1: You can tell he doesn't really want to go.
Slasher2: You're so right. Look at that Lingering Glance he's throwing over his shoulder.
Slasher1: Are you sure...I think he's looking at the baked, no, you're right.
Slasher2: Squee! I must go write a story!
Slasher1: Don't you want to finish the movie?
Slasher2: Why? I've seen all I need to see. Hie me to my keyboard on wings of smut!
Slasher1: I'm right behind you, sister! ...So, hey, have you read this book?
Slasher2: There's a book?

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