Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.
eliade

Equal Opportunity Mocking

Slasher1: Dude. Elf in tights.
Slasher2: Where?! Where?!
Slasher1: Twelve o'clock--there, with the locks of golden hair kissed by the lips of a desirous sun!
Slasher2: Ohmigod! Tights! His calves, his thighs, his manly package!
Slasher1: Did you see that, did you see that?! He looked at the Ranger with a Deep And Meaningful Glance.
Slasher2: Are you sure? I thought he was looking at that porkchop with a Deep and Meaningful Look of Hunger.
Slasher1: No, his glance impacted 70 degrees north, meeting the Ranger's fathomless and cerulean eyes. Here...I'll rewind.
Slasher2: Oh...oh, I think you're right. That was definitely a DAMG. And there was eyelash batting.
Slasher1: They are *so* doing it.
Slasher2: Totally. Theirloveissopure!
Slasher1: And eternal, like the mountains o'erlooking the dappled plain, unbroken by any--oh! Oh! Get out of there!
Slasher2: God, I hate how they just gratuitously insert some melon-breasted bimbo into a scene to perpetuate the Dominant Heterosexual Cultural Paradigm of Romantic Love.
Slasher1: Word.
Slasher2: Oh no, she's coming between them--bitch!
Slasher1: You can tell he doesn't really want to go.
Slasher2: You're so right. Look at that Lingering Glance he's throwing over his shoulder.
Slasher1: Are you sure...I think he's looking at the baked yams...no, no, you're right.
Slasher2: Squee! I must go write a story!
Slasher1: Don't you want to finish the movie?
Slasher2: Why? I've seen all I need to see. Hie me to my keyboard on wings of smut!
Slasher1: I'm right behind you, sister! ...So, hey, have you read this book?
Slasher2: There's a book?
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments