Log in

No account? Create an account
05 March 2006 @ 05:07 pm
title meme, a brief installment  
I'm offline--living the dream! In case you were wondering. *g* More from me later. But for now, man-seals.

Care of the Hide, or Why Rodney McKay Is Molting for stungunbilly

Proving that, in my loyal service to the kingdom of crackfic, I will stop at nothing, I turn Rodney into a sleek and beautiful man-seal, or selkie. It was a secret he'd worked hard to keep all his life, and it was easy when he was inland--Siberia, Antarctica--but now that he's living in Atlantis, surrounded by water, his longing for the sea makes him restless and irritable.

What he doesn't realize at first is that it's also stimulating his selkie self to surface. When he begins to molt, he panics and tries to hide it, but eventually the skin around his collarbone begins peeling, and then his neck and face, arms and hands. When he can't hide it or explain it away any longer, he's confronted by Carson, Elizabeth, and John and must confess his secret. Carson, after a predictable boggle and recovery period, theorizes that Rodney's selkie nature is manifesting out of his control because he hasn't taken proper care of himself in so long. Carson reproves him rather sternly for not nourishing his selkie side.

So Rodney unpacks his treasured sealskin from the box he's been keeping it in and it molds itself magically to his body--John watches in fascination and possibly alarm--and dives into the ocean waves for a long cavort. When he comes back a week later, he's refreshed and perky, and much calmer than usual, because he's happy in his skin again. And he puts his seal coat away, but now he will take it out on occasion when the moon is full, et cetera et cetera, and John of course falls helplessly for Rodney, because now that his selkie magic is back in force, people keep giving him candy and asking if he wants to come back to their rooms and see their etchings. But John glares at everyone and his razor-sharp hair frightens them, and so he and Rodney cavort happily ever after.
WesleysGirl: Rodneywesleysgirl on March 6th, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
Ohhhh yeah, that's the stuff. Selkies. Mmm.
superheroes failing at oatmeal: rodney says NOESsome_stars on March 6th, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)
Carson reproves him rather sternly for not nourishing his selkie side.

this sentence makes me so happy. and yet, simultaneously, APPALLED.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
LadyStarlightladystarlightsj on March 6th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
Nummy. And I'm officially blaming you for my absolute binge on SGA McShep fic now.

(cries) I don't even get to watch the show and I'm hooked!
Moxie Brown: DH: Heart-shaped assmoxie_brown on March 6th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
OMG, you're totally giving me flashbacks to my women's studies class on myth and folklore! Thankfully you didn't go with the version where John hides the coat to tame his woman Rodney!
tabaqui: uncuddlybyinmonkeystabaqui on March 6th, 2006 03:01 am (UTC)
Oh oh oh!!

John's razor-sharp hair!
I want *details* and *flesh* and *moooooooooore*

And selkie-sex.
*had to do recipricol polar bear*
kahaniyan: john & rodneykahaniyan on March 6th, 2006 04:51 am (UTC)

your imaginary crackfic makes me smile SO MUCH! :D
zee on March 6th, 2006 04:53 am (UTC)
*rubs face, chuckling*

So, we're apparently frequenting the same sea-mammal!McKay crackhouse (which nicely underscores smittywing's findings, regarding SGA fans). New SuperPen + sleep deprivation + THIS FANDOM =

which, I'm afraid, immediately went on a mug. The end. *slaps flippers with you*
adannu: angel right?adannu on March 6th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
Er, that link redirects to Microsoft for some wacky reason. *eyes LJ suspiciously*

Also, that picture makes me laugh and laugh. And I'd love that on a mug too. :D
zee on March 6th, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
Oh, for ... you know, it's helpful to use only the one 'http'. I blame Eliade. The selkie made off with my mind. Here's the proper link.
stungunbilly: smokin'stungunbilly on March 6th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC)
Well, okay then! That explains it. The nervousness, the irritability- and here we all thought it was caffeine. Sea-withdrawal, man, that will bring you DOWN.

So what happens if someone, like, say, Ronon, steals Rodney's shiny pelt?

Spiky hair notwithstanding.

I love this fandom SO MUCH.
Pamgoosegirl9 on March 6th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
Pffftpht. Spits seal hair. Oh, you are shameless.
adannu: angel right?adannu on March 6th, 2006 05:40 am (UTC)
Oooooh. Selkies. And I like the idea of Rodney being even crankier because of his sea-longing.

Razor sharp hair! *snicker*
Sorry we said fuck so much: disgust myself20thcenturyvole on March 6th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
But John glares at everyone and his razor-sharp hair frightens them, and so he and Rodney cavort happily ever after.

OMG. Now I want this fic so badly, it hurts. *emo tears*
Trepkos: Squee Buffy by Noaluvjamestrepkos on March 6th, 2006 02:07 pm (UTC)
"living the dream! In case you were wondering"

*Bounces excitedly*
Tell us more!
janecarnall on March 6th, 2006 02:28 pm (UTC)
Selkies. Oh my.

Oh, poor Rodney. He just has the most complicated problems.
...my hand caught his hair running...mousewrites on March 6th, 2006 05:38 pm (UTC)

You're NOT going to write this? cuz... I have this, um, selkie... thing. (even wrote selkie porn... don't hate me.)

I WILL DO ANYTHING to make you write this. Picture? Knitted hat? MONEY? WHAT DO YOU WANT??
not so secretly sybariticallivrelibre on March 8th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
Oh I do like where your transformations go-crack or not. It's such good crack:)
lastscorpion on March 27th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC)
LOL! There are tears in my eyes!

You don't mind if I 'friend' you, do you?
bearpaw9bearpaw9 on April 29th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
::: beaming in from elsewhere with useless selkie trivia :::

I read the suggestion that the first selkie tales could have come from a Greenland kayaker washed up on the shores of Scotland or somewhere thereabouts. Without the sealskin covering, the kayak is just a framework of sticks. Find the hidden sealskin, and you can slip away.
ex_angelica on September 29th, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC)
cialis sample
online gambling casino

6 Trivia
2 Chemical information
generic cialis
cialis vs viagra

4 Drug interactions - organic nitrates
Chemical information
buy cheap viagra online
Since PDE5 inhibitors such as Cialis may cause transiently low blood pressure (hypotension), organic nitrates should not be taken for at least 48 hours after taking the last dose of Cialis.
It works by inhibiting an enzyme known as PDE5. A 20 mg dose of Cialis is comparable to a 100 mg dose of sildenafil (Viagra).
cialis vs viagra
internet black jack
Cialis at work

1 Cialis at work
black jack online
cialis sample
black jack online
online cialis

buy cheap viagra online

gambling casino
gambling casino
buy cheap viagra online
buy cheap viagra online
buy cheap viagra online
buy cheap viagra online
In the United States, Cialis has Food and Drug Administration approval and became available in December, 2003 as the third pill after Viagra and Levitra. Due to its 36-hour effect it is also known as the "Weekend Pill".
online gambling casino
play black jack online
play black jack online
cialis side effects
internet black jack
5 Marketing
Cialis is a drug used to treat male erectile dysfunction (impotence).
Drug interactions - organic nitrates
buy cheap viagra online
buy cheap viagra online
It was developed by the biotechnology firm ICOS and marketed worldwide by Eli Lilly and Company under the brand name Cialis.

buy cheap viagra online
Side effects
The most common side effects when using Cialis are headache, indigestion, back pain, muscle aches, flushing, and stuffy or runny nose. These side effects usually go away after a few hours. Patients who get back pain and muscle aches usually get it 12 to 24 hours after taking the drug, and the symptom usually goes away after 48 hours.

The empirical formula for Cialis is C22H19N3O4, and its official organic name is (6R,12aR)-6-(1,3-benzodioxol-5-yl)-2,3,6,7,12,12a- hexahydro-2-methyl-pyrazino[1 ,2 :1,6]pyrido[3,4-b]indole-1,4-dione. The molecular weight is 389.41. The tablets are yellow, film-coated, and almond-shaped, and are produced in 5, 10, or 20mg doses.
viagra cialis
buy cialis
buy cheap viagra online
3 Side effects
Contents [hide]
7 External links
cialis free sample
buy cialis+5979.6142578125
korilian: burnkorilian on October 6th, 2006 11:28 am (UTC)
I will give you mountains of candy if you stop secucing us with these cracked descriptions and actually give us the fics! :)