Care of the Hide, or Why Rodney McKay Is Molting for stungunbilly
Proving that, in my loyal service to the kingdom of crackfic, I will stop at nothing, I turn Rodney into a sleek and beautiful man-seal, or selkie. It was a secret he'd worked hard to keep all his life, and it was easy when he was inland--Siberia, Antarctica--but now that he's living in Atlantis, surrounded by water, his longing for the sea makes him restless and irritable.
What he doesn't realize at first is that it's also stimulating his selkie self to surface. When he begins to molt, he panics and tries to hide it, but eventually the skin around his collarbone begins peeling, and then his neck and face, arms and hands. When he can't hide it or explain it away any longer, he's confronted by Carson, Elizabeth, and John and must confess his secret. Carson, after a predictable boggle and recovery period, theorizes that Rodney's selkie nature is manifesting out of his control because he hasn't taken proper care of himself in so long. Carson reproves him rather sternly for not nourishing his selkie side.
So Rodney unpacks his treasured sealskin from the box he's been keeping it in and it molds itself magically to his body--John watches in fascination and possibly alarm--and dives into the ocean waves for a long cavort. When he comes back a week later, he's refreshed and perky, and much calmer than usual, because he's happy in his skin again. And he puts his seal coat away, but now he will take it out on occasion when the moon is full, et cetera et cetera, and John of course falls helplessly for Rodney, because now that his selkie magic is back in force, people keep giving him candy and asking if he wants to come back to their rooms and see their etchings. But John glares at everyone and his razor-sharp hair frightens them, and so he and Rodney cavort happily ever after.