Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

Valentine messages from The Stranger

The Stranger is one of Seattle's alternative newspapers, and every Valentine's Day they publish people's personal messages. Some excerpts.
TIMOTEO; MY BIG SMOOTH ♥♥ warm thing. I love ur contagious smile, ur kickass drumming, & ur soft, soft belly. U make me laugh, u make me cum, u make me happy. I loke u, I LOVE u! [I loke so many people, I don't even know where to begin.]

BOOGAH FACE! ♥♥ I just want you to know that I dearly love your stupid dumb face...And your beard rocks. Goddamn bugs whacked us, Johnny, you are my lover, cuppycake! ["Your beard rocks, man." - "Shut up." - "No, seriously, man, it totally rocks, cuppycake." - "I'm going to stab you in the face if you don't shut up." (<-- TM devildoll)]

TO MY SWEET TART ♥♥ Thanks for sucking my dick and letting me put it in you. You're the best! [Oh, Rodney. That's not really romantic.]

OH RHINOCEROS! ♥♥ I'm a lucky lady to have found you in here. [In *where*?] I heart you big time. Take off your glasses...let's play officer and prisoner. [Ah. In *jail*.]

MR. MAM - ♥♥ I hope this is the year you say, "I always want my Siemens to be hot on your tail." Nothing sexier than a heartfelt Siemens commitment. [Valentine's Day: When love is expressed in eternal truths.] Love - Ms. AMB

HONEYPLOP! ♥♥ You will always be the Little Sister Star-Bellied Swimsuit-Wearin' Snood to me! [She hears that so often it's not even funny.] All loves, all the time, Valentine! xoxo~Your 31 Hand Clapper

BE MY GAY COWBOY! ♥♥ Bo- You are the #1 reason I am a gay cowboy ["Thanks, Luke."] and not just because I enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'. Did I tell you I kinda like you? P.

ALEISHA! ♥♥ Happy Valentine's Day! As Night Ranger once sang, "Sister Christian, oh the time has come. And you know that you're the only one." [...]

KATHLEEN... ♥♥ I think Poison was singing about you when they sang "Every rose has it's thorn, Just like every cowboy sings his sad song, Every rose has it's thorn." [She's obsessing over those misplaced apostrophes. The passive-agressive ambiguity is just a secondary issue.]

TUNE TUNE, ♥♥ My heart still flutters for you. Je t'aime to the maximum. Love, Seahogg [Seahogg & Julie 4Evah!]

STUDIO YOU KNOW WHO! ♥♥ Thanks for sharing the love and the whoops. [Whoops. I'm pregnant.]

BOIS! ♥♥ A! we need to start going to the spot again, eat jack-in-the-box, and listen to backstreet boys... or we can have some coffee. hella. ~S.san [And then we'll watch Growing Up Gotti, pig out on burritos, and shave each other.]
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