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13 February 2006 @ 12:41 pm
Valentine messages from The Stranger  
The Stranger is one of Seattle's alternative newspapers, and every Valentine's Day they publish people's personal messages. Some excerpts.
TIMOTEO; MY BIG SMOOTH ♥♥ warm thing. I love ur contagious smile, ur kickass drumming, & ur soft, soft belly. U make me laugh, u make me cum, u make me happy. I loke u, I LOVE u! [I loke so many people, I don't even know where to begin.]

BOOGAH FACE! ♥♥ I just want you to know that I dearly love your stupid dumb face...And your beard rocks. Goddamn bugs whacked us, Johnny, you are my lover, cuppycake! ["Your beard rocks, man." - "Shut up." - "No, seriously, man, it totally rocks, cuppycake." - "I'm going to stab you in the face if you don't shut up." (<-- TM devildoll)]

TO MY SWEET TART ♥♥ Thanks for sucking my dick and letting me put it in you. You're the best! [Oh, Rodney. That's not really romantic.]

OH RHINOCEROS! ♥♥ I'm a lucky lady to have found you in here. [In *where*?] I heart you big time. Take off your glasses...let's play officer and prisoner. [Ah. In *jail*.]

MR. MAM - ♥♥ I hope this is the year you say, "I always want my Siemens to be hot on your tail." Nothing sexier than a heartfelt Siemens commitment. [Valentine's Day: When love is expressed in eternal truths.] Love - Ms. AMB

HONEYPLOP! ♥♥ You will always be the Little Sister Star-Bellied Swimsuit-Wearin' Snood to me! [She hears that so often it's not even funny.] All loves, all the time, Valentine! xoxo~Your 31 Hand Clapper

BE MY GAY COWBOY! ♥♥ Bo- You are the #1 reason I am a gay cowboy ["Thanks, Luke."] and not just because I enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'. Did I tell you I kinda like you? P.

ALEISHA! ♥♥ Happy Valentine's Day! As Night Ranger once sang, "Sister Christian, oh the time has come. And you know that you're the only one." [...]

KATHLEEN... ♥♥ I think Poison was singing about you when they sang "Every rose has it's thorn, Just like every cowboy sings his sad song, Every rose has it's thorn." [She's obsessing over those misplaced apostrophes. The passive-agressive ambiguity is just a secondary issue.]

TUNE TUNE, ♥♥ My heart still flutters for you. Je t'aime to the maximum. Love, Seahogg [Seahogg & Julie 4Evah!]

STUDIO YOU KNOW WHO! ♥♥ Thanks for sharing the love and the whoops. [Whoops. I'm pregnant.]

BOIS! ♥♥ A! we need to start going to the spot again, eat jack-in-the-box, and listen to backstreet boys... or we can have some coffee. hella. ~S.san [And then we'll watch Growing Up Gotti, pig out on burritos, and shave each other.]
agartthaagarttha on February 13th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
Hail Baudrillard
Hahahahaha. Just this so sort of thing makes me believe in Simulacra...


I send you lots of thorns.
agartthaagarttha on February 13th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Hail Baudrillard
I even read drunk. Apologies.
bonehed on February 13th, 2006 08:56 pm (UTC)
...snurffle... kids these days!
Sarapanisdead on February 13th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
PAIN. I'm in PAIN. But I totally loke you for posting these.
flaming muse: mcshep icon_ascensionflaming_muse on February 13th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
the upper echelons of mediocrity: Fairy Goth Motherthe_star_fish on February 14th, 2006 12:02 am (UTC)
OMG, I would so totally break up with anyone who quoted Night Ranger or Poison to me ...

everybody knows nothing says I love you like Guns 'n' Roses lyrics.

love, your 42-Hand Clapper
Alizarin_NYC: hewlett pin pet mealizarin_nyc on February 14th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC)
ELIADE: *heart* *heart* SMOOCHINESS. UR the funniest evar, kittycakes! Don't go breakin' my *heart* liek the song says babyboo. Let's get together and listen to NSYNC like we used 2. ~forever yours, stalkercakes.
Poshykittyposhcat on February 14th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
>>[And then we'll watch Growing Up Gotti, pig out on burritos, and shave each other.]

::dies:: And I thought I was weird.
fish_23 on February 14th, 2006 07:13 am (UTC)
It's really sweet and frightening at the same time. Plus hilarious funny, of course.
V.: SGA Rodney Handpornaurora_84 on February 14th, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks for sucking my dick and letting me put it in you.
I cannot stop laughing.

Oh man, these are total trainwrecks. Je t'aime to the maximum for posting these. :X
flagrantly inauthenticand_the_damned on April 3rd, 2007 06:44 am (UTC)
I am laughing so hard I just woke up my man....woke him up to say "I luv u boo. thanx 4 pounding me. like Madonna said, strike a pose. love, McBooboo