"I'm very sorry that I mistook you for a man."
"Please know that if I destroyed your love of fandom, it was not purposeful."
"Just to be clear, I wasn't calling *you* retarded."
"No, honestly, I didn't mean *your* stories. Also: joking here."
Then I remembered that Mercury is in retrograde, and communications everywhere are snafu, and felt much better.
So if I say anything suspiciously stupid between now and December 3, just remember the ancient Babylonian principle of correspondences and be aware that influential planetary vibrations are responsible for my words and actions.*
*Especially those of you who believe strongly in astrology and want to smack me right now.