- His parents emigrated to the U.S. when he was three
- His parents died when he was five
- His foster parents were ignorant losers
- His foster father molested him
- He built a nonworking nuclear bomb when he was eleven
- The FBI took him from his foster family and placed him with a colonel who'd career-hopped from Special Forces to Special Projects
- He bonded so intensely with his new dad that his heart became set on following in his footsteps and joining the Special Forces
- Having gotten a master's degree or two by the time he was eighteen, he enlisted and...etc etc.
- Emotionally damaged and rather childlike, he doesn't flinch from snapping necks and knifing throats
- But the powers that be persuade him into Special Projects and then the Stargate Program...
- ...on his condition that they keep him fed with occasional black-ops work on the side
- And he and John find each other and live happily ever after
- And then there might have been a montage of maniacal stick-fighting set to Tool's "Forty-six and 2" with close-ups on AU!Rodney's ripped muscles and scars
But you still respect me, don't you?
OH GOD YOU DON'T RESPECT ME! *flees the Internet forever*