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25 August 2005 @ 11:46 pm
icon cracked pairings meme, 1  
Make a list of all the characters in your icons. (Although you may have more than one icon of a single character, they only go on the list once.) Alphabetize it. Take the first two people on the list; that's your first pairing. Second two people; second pairing. Etc.

This cracktastic meme of liviapenn's is already one of my favorite memes of all time. I've put every entry that I've seen so far into memories. Anyone who wants to post more links in comments, please do!

So, um, I was kind of wired and manic and bored tonight. You'd probably be unnerved to know how much time I spent merely *preparing* this meme, creating several different pairing lists based on variations of naming conventions and inclusion logic. The lists were eventually whittled down to one, which was chosen based on a coin flip:
"The list that doesn't contain actors, and assigns the most relevant characters to any actors not otherwise easily identified by character, with only a few miscellaneous icons left out."
Shut up! And don't sprint away from me when I'm talking to you!

After outlining my methodology, I did get around to writing. Two! I have two pairings written. I do want to write the rest, but I'm not sure yet whether I've shot my wad on these. So to speak. I'm going to hold off posting the list itself. I think maybe the insanity should be measured out in small doses.

My fevered and wordy efforts aren't intended as one-upmanship of other posts. From what I can tell, I'm just self-medicating my brain with distractions.

Alan Grant (Jurassic Park III) + Angel (Angel)

Succumbing to cynicism again a few years down the line, Angel isolates himself from civilization on Isla Sorna, having paid for passage by tramp steamer. Like a vampire Tarzan, he lurks broodingly under the dense canopy of the forest primeval. One day Dr. Grant returns to the island with a flock of students who are edible in the doomed sense of the word. He's been broodingly antisocial himself ever since Billy moved out and left him for Blair Sandburg (see later), and is grumpily terrorizing his graduate students when they run across a tall, dark, and sulky man-vamp who eludes pursuit, leaving a trail of exsanguinated dinosaur corpses in his wake.

Inevitably, Alan becomes separated from his crew and stumbles into Angel's lair, bloody and badly nipped by a pissy mother raptor. Angel tends Alan's wounds, brings him food, and so on by the firelight, nursemaiding the other man in his reluctant, stone-faced, resentful way. He's not forthcoming at first, but Alan tenaciously drags his backstory from him--it's like pulling fangs--during a series of terse conversations.

There is a big exciting plot twist and climax, many gory deaths, and bonding with raptors, and then we reach our close. Alan can't convince Angel to leave the island with him, but they exchange a manly handshake before parting, both men stolidly repressing deep horniness.

Batman (Christian Bale) + Benton Fraser (Due South)

Lately a suspiciously polite and enigmatic Mountie has been popping up at every social event attended by Bruce Wayne. When Batman spots the mysterious Canadian at a crime scene, he has him investigated and learns that he first came to Gotham on the trail of the killers of a caribou belonging to an endangered, protected species, and for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture has remained, attached as liaison with the Canadian Consulate. Fraser seems to have taken up his own form of vigilante justice, and Batman keeps running across him on the rooftops of the city. One night Fraser acrobatically foils the escape of the Jack of Clubs on the red carpet of a movie premier just as Batman is about to tackle him. Flashbulbs pop as the cameras capture Fraser's heroism for the morning edition.

Bruce, peevishly reading the press coverage while lying in bed with a breakfast tray, decides to take aggressive action and immediately calls the Consulate and invites Fraser to a dinner party. After dinner and banter and eye-flirting and wit-matching and nightcaps, Fraser sits cozily on the sofa in front of a crackling fire across from Bruce and without warning asks:

"How long have you been a student of the order of Chiroptera, Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce, smiling at him after the briefest of pauses: "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean."

Fraser, in expository style, with relevant hand gestures: "The other night, in the illumination of the reporters' cameras, I received a vivid impression of the contours of your chin--which was exposed by the mask you wore--along with the unusual shape of your number-six tooth, the right cuspid, also known as the 'canine' or 'eye tooth.' Additionally, and you may not be aware of this, but the pitch of your voice is quite distinctive. You might want to consider modulating your tone from time to time. Just a thought."

Bruce: o.O

Together, they fight crime. ("...throughout Southwestern Alberta!")

And one night Bruce falls apart, grieving for his parents, and Fraser stands there quietly next to him for a moment, one hand lightly resting on his shoulder, then launches into a cryptic but somehow moving story about his own father and a suicide that took place among the pingos of Tuktoyaktuk, none of which Bruce can follow, but fortunately some kissing takes place, and then shadowed progress to the silk sheets.

my icons
Anna S.: rodney2eliade on August 26th, 2005 07:10 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you! Yay! I have to fall face-plantingly into bed now, but I will read these all tomorrow. *g*
gwynnega on August 26th, 2005 07:16 am (UTC)
Here's mine.
Poshykittyposhcat on August 26th, 2005 08:32 am (UTC)
Together, they fight crime. ("...throughout Southwestern Alberta!")

::dies dies dies laughing::
Anna S.: ds-frasereliade on August 26th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
Heeeee. I knew a few people would recognize that. *g*

I squeeze your poshkatty self good morning.

(Damn, I still have no Rowsdower icon.)
Anna S.: brian-fuckeliade on August 26th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
I squeeze your poshkatty self good morning.

Except that I spelled you with a "k." Damn me! Curses!
Vera: bad touchcopracat on August 26th, 2005 09:31 am (UTC)
I illustrated my meme post with the icons.

yonmei on August 26th, 2005 11:22 am (UTC)
kassrachel on August 26th, 2005 11:24 am (UTC)
Wheeeee! I love these -- especially Fraser/Batman, which is oddly mesmerizing, and could actually work. *g*
cathexys: lacancathexys on August 26th, 2005 11:40 am (UTC)
oh, you gave us plots too...this is great! (wants to actually read these stories, esp. the second one)

eh...mine's here. i don't even have any smart comments, but it does offer some littheory crack pairings (like Jacques Lacan/Lance Bass :-)
ReginaGiraffereginagiraffe on August 26th, 2005 12:08 pm (UTC)
Mine's pretty boring but... here it is.
threegoldfish on August 26th, 2005 12:41 pm (UTC)
Hee! That was awesome.
kangeiko: kaylee parasolkangeiko on August 26th, 2005 12:45 pm (UTC)
Me to :) -


I'm actually tempted to write a couple of them too...
minnow1212 on August 26th, 2005 01:32 pm (UTC)
OMG, Batman and Fraser! It makes an odd sort of sense.
Anna S.: zoeeliade on August 26th, 2005 01:47 pm (UTC)
If you ever wanted Mal Reynolds to do Luke Skywalker,

Wait--I thought he'd already *done* Luke Skywalker?

(It seems so reasonable when I say it.)

Pouncerthepouncer on August 26th, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC)
Herself_nycherself_nyc on August 26th, 2005 03:18 pm (UTC)
You delight me.
lightning rod for criticism: mulder (frey_at_last)annakovsky on August 26th, 2005 04:16 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The Batman/Fraser one is EXCELLENT.
Alizarin_NYC: invisiman naughtyalizarin_nyc on August 26th, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC)
Whoa. I just looked at your icons and I swear, if Vaughn does Vincent Vintresca in your fic, I will just DIE. Really, I will.
Raven: Batman worried too muchraveninthewind on August 26th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
I lurve you for this:
Together, they fight crime. ("...throughout Southwestern Alberta!")
ngaio on August 26th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
I just did mine in my journal, also apocalypsos is collecting lists from people for ithurtsmybrain writers.
Alizarin_NYC: ben's eyes b&walizarin_nyc on August 26th, 2005 06:58 pm (UTC)
resonant8 on August 27th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
Fraser would be utterly impossible to fool with a secret identity, wouldn't he? It would be one of the many annoying things about him.
timian on August 28th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)
This meme really is amazingly cracktastic, isn't it? My go at it is here.