Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

letters to the universe

Dear God,

You misheard me. I said that I liked the Charlie's Angels remake, not that I wanted a Charlie's Angels make-over. You are no longer allowed to play with my hairdryer.

Love, Anna


Dear Sister Waxing of No Mercy,

When I said I wanted my eyebrows "thinned", implicit in this request was a wish that my eyebrows would still exist afterwards. In some form. My apologies for not being explicit. I realize it's a nuance. The vestigial lumps above my eyes make an interesting statement, though. Such as, "I was playing with the flamethrower again."

Yours, Anna


Dear Godiva,

I lost my soul to Satan through the temptation of chocolate. Please reimburse me for the cost of one (1) soul, in the amount of $100 billion dollars and the boundless joy of an infinite afterlife. If I don't hear from you by end of day tomorrow, my lawyers will be in touch.

Sincerely, Anna



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