You misheard me. I said that I liked the Charlie's Angels remake, not that I wanted a Charlie's Angels make-over. You are no longer allowed to play with my hairdryer.
Dear Sister Waxing of No Mercy,
When I said I wanted my eyebrows "thinned", implicit in this request was a wish that my eyebrows would still exist afterwards. In some form. My apologies for not being explicit. I realize it's a nuance. The vestigial lumps above my eyes make an interesting statement, though. Such as, "I was playing with the flamethrower again."
I lost my soul to Satan through the temptation of chocolate. Please reimburse me for the cost of one (1) soul, in the amount of $100 billion dollars and the boundless joy of an infinite afterlife. If I don't hear from you by end of day tomorrow, my lawyers will be in touch.