Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

state of the me

It just occurred to me for the first time that I was born in the state of ME. ME, Maine. And when we were moving to VA when I was four, I didn't want to leave. We'll just pretend that's not symbolic. I'm not sure what the VA signifies.

In news of ME, it was a Monday (true for most of you, I guess) and I'm incredibly tired. Pyscho bus passengers, vacuous brain, insane carb cravings, doctor's appointment. I have to go off Adderall starting tomorrow. It turns out it sends my blood-pressure through the roof. This makes me nervous; because, tiredness, lack of focus--all the bad. I'm going to call my psych guy tomorrow to discuss other options.

Someday soon--i.e., sometime this year--I want to make a giant list of SGA recs, and also to leave feedback for people. So much great stuff has been unfurling from brilliant brains.

I want to be entertaining but all I can manage is to refer vaguely to crossover SGA/Alias thoughts that I'll never write, and to my ongoing wrong fantasies of Ronan and Rodney. That I will never write. Head porn is lazy porn.

So very tired tonight. Hungry but no appetite; anxious but inert. I have a very very quiet existential scream trapped behind my chest. More like a whisper. Chill in tree branches.

Random Pessoa quote:

"And I sleep, in my way, without sleep or repose, this vegetative life of supposition, and under my eyelids without rest there appears, like the quiet foam on a filthy sea, the distant reflection of the silent streetlights.

I sleep and I unsleep."

I'm not really pretentious, I hope. I just like his words. I'm not depressed per se, either. Just tired and tenuous.

  • (no subject)

    Just posting to wave hello, I'm alive, I'm maintaining. I haven't been online; mostly, I've been pacing out daily routines, or holding onto the rope…

  • (no subject)

    The week to two-week placement I'm currently in has turned into a potentially long-term month-to-month opportunity, and I accepted the offer this…

  • (no subject)

    LiveJournal is branding itself as "A global community of friends who share your unique passions and interests." My unique passions; those which I…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.