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31 July 2005 @ 05:02 pm
more of other people's words  
I buy my share of dollar books.

From Roman Numeral Two! Top Ten Lists from 'Late Night with David Letterman':
Top Ten Least Exciting Superpowers for Comic Book Superheroes

10. Super spelling
9. Lightning-fast mood swings
8. Really bendy thumb
7. Unusually natural smile when posing for photographs
6. Ability to calm jittery squirrels
5. Power to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle
4. Ability to get tickets to Goodwill Games
3. Power to score with other superheroes' wives
2. Ability to communicate with corn
1. Magnetic colon

From 1,0001 Dreams:
Spaghetti
Spaghetti is a rich erotic symbol evoking male or female genitals or pubic hair. Dreamers may wallow in a tub of pasta or discover that their long hair has turned into spaghetti. Such dreams may express a need to satisfy the demands of the libido.

That was not intentional humor, by the way.

From Bad Press: The Worst Critical Reviews Ever!:
It may be that this autobiography is set down in sincerity, frankness, and simple effort. It may be, too, that the Statue of Liberty is situated in Lake Ontario. -- Dorothy Parker on Aimee Semple McPherson

Meanwhile, I'm still reading Patricia Cornwell. The more I read her writing, the more I loathe it--her exposition is terrible, her characters speak without contractions, her heroine is obnoxious--but I can't stop buying her books. Reading her is like chewing sugarless bubble gum with vicious determination. I think that Bad Press book is catching. And why do all these titles have exclamation points?

I forgot to mention that if anyone wants any of the song files from my last post, just let me know and I can upload them from work. I think some of them are even MP3s.

I have postmenstrual stress again. Or really, really early premenstrual. I am making a hit list of bus passengers, and every item of clothing in Macy's appalls me. I used to think that it was a spiteful, unified campaign of designers to create the worst possible fashions for larger-sized women. But now that I'm shopping in the standard women's department, I realize it's all women everywhere who are victimized by the fashion industry. The hot-pink of death, flower patterns like 70s upholstery, random appliqués scraped from exploded piñatas--everything seemingly designed for sixty-year-old matrons with bad eyesight. In a desperate recoil from this, almost every shirt I own is black.

I'm tired and want to do nothing. No laundry, no bills. But I lie--I want to write, but the words run and hide from me like centipedes scurrying under cupboards. As for reading fan-fiction, there's a weird thing going on where I've bookmarked stories I know I'll love, but I can't bring myself to open them up; I think I'm saving them for when I'm in a better mood.

If I had a cat I'd be making little creaky noises at it and chasing it around the apartment right now, and when I caught it I'd scrub my fingers into its ruff and say things like, "Brrt brrt brrt, who's a little monster?"

Oh, yeah. The midthirties of the SWF, when every thwarted maternal instinct turns to kittens.
 
 
 
inapickle on August 1st, 2005 12:09 am (UTC)
HEY!
And here I was planning use my mood swings to fight evil and injustice wherever they may spring up and stuff.

Thanks for nothing, David Letterman's writers!
Anna S.: blair-sandburgeliade on August 1st, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
Re: HEY!
But you do, you totally do use your super-mood-power for the benefit of humanity! I've seen you! *g* *loves*
julia_herejulia_here on August 1st, 2005 12:11 am (UTC)
I am making a hit list of bus passengers, and every item of clothing in Macy's appalls me.

And this is abnormal for you?

Actually, as to the second bit: the reason for this is that every item of clothing at Macy's is appalling . Also, pretty much, Nordstrom's, Penney's and Mervyn's. So far. The designers seem to have been possessed by Cylons, of entirely lost sight of the actual shape and range of motion of the human body.

Old Navy is better but when I went there they'd just had the Visigoths by.

I finally cured myself of Patricia Cornwall by listening to stories from My Cousin the Berkeley Professor, who had the same publisher and kept meeting Cornwall at promotional events; she says the woman is deeply scary. I've suppressed the details.

Julia, girding my loins for grocery shopping.
Anna S.: scary_girleliade on August 1st, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
And this is abnormal for you?

When I'm at my worst, I'm extremely sensitive to negative stimuli and have very physical reactions. I hate feeling like that though. The meds help a lot, so when I do get wound up these days, I like it even less, because I'm not used to it anymore.

I finally cured myself of Patricia Cornwall by listening to stories from My Cousin the Berkeley Professor, who had the same publisher and kept meeting Cornwall at promotional events; she says the woman is deeply scary. I've suppressed the details.

Oh my god, I know. You don't even have to know any stories to know she's a psycho--it just seeps through her writing.
the kid with the bullet soul: XF GD thoughtfulexsequar on August 1st, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
I would *love* to have David Duchovny by Bree Sharp, if it's not too much trouble :)
Anna S.: muldereliade on August 1st, 2005 04:11 am (UTC)
Yes! EVERYONE MUST HEAR THAT SONG! It is so freaking hilarious. My god.
the kid with the bullet soul: FF River killer instinctsexsequar on August 1st, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
I've heard it, but only on the music video, and I don't have a copy on my comp! It's fantastic ^_^
LadyStarlightladystarlightsj on August 1st, 2005 12:17 am (UTC)
"Northwest Passage" would make this hot, cranky Canadian very happy, if it's at all possible.

(I'd pass you chocolate, but it's all melted. Sob.)
Anna S.: eartheliade on August 1st, 2005 04:10 am (UTC)
I will totally post it--it's stunning. Have you heard it before?
LadyStarlightladystarlightsj on August 1st, 2005 05:35 am (UTC)
I have, yes. And my uncle used to sing it as well -- but I prefer Stan Roger's version.
Laura Stone: funnystoney321 on August 1st, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
OHhhhhh, I'm happy for the laugh today. Super power #5 cracked me up.

If I had the energy to grab a few pairs of goofy socks, I'd spend my day forcing them on my cats' heads like cool touques. That's how much I DON'T want to accomplish what I NEED to accomplish.
Anna S.: cat_chickeneliade on August 1st, 2005 04:10 am (UTC)
Socks! Cat heads! You are inventive and possibly cruel. I like you. *g*
bdbdbbdbdb on August 1st, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
<>Top Ten Least Exciting Superpowers for Comic Book Superheroes</i>

Have you seen the movie The Specials? Waaay better superpowers! And a damn good movie, IMO. :)
Anna S.: christian-bale-smileeliade on August 1st, 2005 04:09 am (UTC)
Oh, that looks wonderful--thank you! I'll check it out. :)
bdbdb: JM by bdbdbbdbdb on August 1st, 2005 04:24 am (UTC)
It's one of those movies that people either love (like me) and can watch over and over again, or hate with a fiery passion. And it has some one-liners that will make you pee in your pants! LOL Lemme know what you think if you ever get to see it! :)
This Space Intentionally Left Blankbarkley on August 1st, 2005 04:01 am (UTC)
I used to gobble up Patricia Cornwell books like the junkie that I am until I got to one particular book, and I've never looked back. Where are you at so far with her?
Anna S.: agent-coopereliade on August 1st, 2005 04:09 am (UTC)
I'm reading them completely out of order, and in some cases re-reading them--the early ones, at least. I remember some of her very earliest being good, and I just bought her first five books in the series used. I had no idea she'd published so many. I read some of the very later ones recently, and the last one I finished was in present-tense third-person instead of first-person and...so bad. So so very bad.

Spoilers mean nothing to me--share your snark. *g*
This Space Intentionally Left Blankbarkley on August 1st, 2005 04:22 am (UTC)
You see, and that's the thing, it's not even snark and I feel like such a hypcrite because I love character death in fanfic and on shows and such! But she killed a character I liked. And at that point, I realized that I couldn't care less about her writing or her living characters, so I stopped. I miss the recipes though. But, really, what are recipes doing in the middle of a murder mystery? Some writers are just lording the fact that their Virginian ME can find uses for her tomatoes despite her busy schedule when I keep letting mine go bad before I get around to cooking.
Anna S.eliade on August 1st, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
Recipes? Oh god.

But oh--OH--you must have read the one where Benton turns out NOT TO BE DEAD AT ALL. Worst. Retcon. Ever. I actually haven't finished that book but have already started on another. I got down to the last fifteen pages or so and set it aside indifferently, because as you say, I couldn't care less. I'm sure I'll wander back to finishing it some time, though.
This Space Intentionally Left Blank: JT-OTPbarkley on August 1st, 2005 04:35 am (UTC)
Wait, he's not dead? My whole life (OK, the past six years or so) I've been thinking he's dead and he's not? Now I want to read for sheer joy of poking fun!
Anna S.eliade on August 1st, 2005 04:39 am (UTC)
Oh god--I thought for sure you'd read further than that and also that you were vaguely alluding to it. I'm sorry! Except for how we both don't care. But if you are seriously going to read it, it's revealed in Blow Fly, which is terrible for so many reasons I can't enumerate without boring myself to death. It's also a very tight follow-up to the previous book, plotwise, but I'm not sure that makes any difference. (It's also in her later books that the plots get ridiculously convoluted and improbable, and Scarpetta becomes even more centric within the center of the universe.)
This Space Intentionally Left Blankbarkley on August 1st, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)
Heee! No, I quit when he died! I was never going back, so I totally dont' care! But now, I have to go back! Just for sheer retconing joy! I think this is a good time to get my library card at this address. *g*
Anna S.: jack-bristoweliade on August 1st, 2005 04:50 am (UTC)
I should warn you, though, that the retcon is actually pretty jaw-droppingly appalling, and the book is just one character assassination after another (of characters already badly mangled in previous books). --> weak grin *g*
Mintwitchmintwitch on August 1st, 2005 07:15 am (UTC)
But now that I'm shopping in the standard women's department, I realize it's all women everywhere who are victimized by the fashion industry. The hot-pink of death, flower patterns like 70s upholstery, random appliqués scraped from exploded piñatas--everything seemingly designed for sixty-year-old matrons with bad eyesight. In a desperate recoil from this, almost every shirt I own is black.

-word-
ex_dovil323 on August 1st, 2005 09:17 am (UTC)
If I had a cat I'd be making little creaky noises at it and chasing it around the apartment right now, and when I caught it I'd scrub my fingers into its ruff and say things like, "Brrt brrt brrt, who's a little monster?"

Cutest thing ever!
(Deleted comment)
alittlebritonalittlebriton on August 1st, 2005 11:19 am (UTC)
Ah, Patricia Cornwell. The woman who said that she had solved the Jack the ripper murders as being perpetrated by Walter Sickart, the artist, because "he has the eyes of a killer" in a grainy black and white photograph. Seriously. Never mind the fact that he was out of the country when half of the murders were committed. Sigh. Her early fiction is brilliant, and I totally heart Marino, but I agree, that whole Benton isn't dead kinda sucked.

Try reading fic a little at a time. Kinda like a large box of rich truffles. And then go back to making fun of clothes. It's not like they can snark back.
Granny Weatherwax: orally fixated Starbuckmetamorphogenic on August 2nd, 2005 05:50 am (UTC)
Dude... Patricia Cornwell is like being forced to wear orthopedic shoes to a salsa club. Or something like that. My mother used to try and get me to read her books (for some reason, she liked them.. but then again, she wore orthopedic shoes all the time).

BTW, just friended you... I love that you rhyme Anna with Piranha and Nirvana. Because, we share the same first name. 'Nuff said.