It's probably hormones but I'm getting odd bittersweet feelings watching both shows. I think it has to do with being out of step with the rest of fandom--watching things that have already aired and been enjoyed and explored by so many other people, and knowing I can never travel back in time and restart at the beginning in real time. That usually doesn't bother me. I think I'm just having some kind of fannish midlife crisis. Tying closely into this is how I've been reading other people's amazing, intelligently written stories while at the same time feeling like an urn full of dry ashes, creatively speaking. I mean, even the unwritten stories playing out in my head are trite and simplistic. I feel dull.
Mood: vaguely self-pitying and whiny, apparently.
I'm on antibiotics for what turned out to be a sinus infection. You know how when you've got a cold and you blow your nose a billion times until you're buried in snotty wadded kleenex like Kirk embedded in a pile of tribbles? It feels as if all that wadded kleenex is actually shoved up into my sinuses.
I'm suddenly having a weird deja vu that combines having a spring cold with being terribly behind at work with being fannishly out of sorts. And I'm listening to "By Way of Sorrow" by Cry Cry Cry, which is reminding me of the wonderful Daniel Jackson vid that sherrold_ish made. More weltschmertz.
However, I am not drinking, I'm still employed at the moment, and there are many lovely people in the world. So now I'm just going to wave sappily at you all. *wave*