Of late, I hear this song regularly in the place where I have breakfast and, most days, lunch. A romantic song that compares one's beloved to Camembert and Jimmy Durante's nose is a thing of beauty.

You're the Top

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed.

I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty,
At least it'll tell you how great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Colosseum,
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody
From a symphony by Strauss,
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.

You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check,
A total wreck, a flop,
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

Your words poetic
Are not pathetic
On the other hand, boy, you shine
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine down my spine.

Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But for a person who's just rehearsin'
Well I gotta say this, my lad:

You're the top!
You're Mahatma Ghandi.
You're the top!
You're Napolean brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gall'ry,
You're Garbo's sal'ry,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime,
You're a turkey dinner.
You're the time of the Derby winner.
I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop.
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a Ritz hot toddy.
You're the top!
You're a Brewster body.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're a Nathan Panning,
You're Bishop Manning,
You're broccoli.
You're a prize,
You're a night at Coney,
You're the eyes of Irene Bordoni,
I'm a broken doll,
A fol-de-rol, a blop,
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top.

You're the top!
You're an Arrow collar.
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar.
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,
You're Whistler's mama,
You're Camembert.
You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,
You're the nose of the great Durante.
I'm just in the way,
As the French would say
"De trop,"
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top.

You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're a baby grand
Of a lady and a gent.
You're an old Dutch master,
You're Mrs. Aster,
You're Pepsodent.
You're romance,
You're the steppes of Russia,
You're the pants on a Roxy usher.
I'm a lazy lout
That's just about to stop,
But if Baby,
I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel,
you simply too, too, too divine,
You're a Botticelli,
You're Keats, You're Shelley,
You're Ovaltine.
You're a boon,
You're the dam at Boulder,
You're the moon
Over Mae West's shoulder.
I'm a nominee of the G.O.P. or GOP,
But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're the Tower of Babel.
You're the top!
You're the Whitney Stable.
By the River Rhine,
You're a sturdy stein of beer,
You're a dress from Saks's,
You're next year's taxes,'
You're stratosphere.
You're my thoist,
You're a Drumstick Lipstick,
You're da foist
In da Irish svipstick,
I'm a frightened frog
That can find no log to hop,
But if, Baby,
I'm the bottom,
You're the top!