Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.
eliade

strangely charmed

I've mocked it before and I'll mock it again--with ferocious enthusiasm!--but I'm here to admit that I'm about to start taping Charmed. I have in fact been checking in with the syndicated run every now and then to be sure I caught the first episode of season three, when Cole shows up. Fuck the first two seasons. I want to see the birth, rise, and painful fall of that suave, cheez-whizerrific badboy, in its sick entirety. Or at the least the highlights.

So, I've seen most of season five (wait, that can't be right--I've seen most of season five? fuck, how did *that* happen?), and so I'd gleaned some hints of just how low he'd sunk, but only now after seeing his debut ep do I really start to get the big picture. Actually, it's not as bad as I thought; at first, watching our golden-boy prosecutor with his eagerness to slam-dunk the scum of society, I was like...oh, Cole. How sad for you--they gutted your innocent character and kept you dangling around for two and a half seasons until you stank of dead fish and had to be tossed out with the trash. But in fact he was a bad-ass from day one, so his downfall couldn't have been that hard. (And no way am I apologizing for spoiling three-year old episodes of Charmed, because please.) Then again, we'll see what happens.

He was yummier then, too, let me say. Boy, do actors age fast on TV. It's like some accelerated alternate dimension. Sad.

I'll be curious to see how sane I can stay while watching this tripe. By Christ's holy testicles, that is one crap cast of actors. I agree with the TWoP recappers that Holly Marie Combs (Piper) is the best; but that's not saying much. And, hmm, you know--Brian Krause (Leo) is one of the actors most mocked by the recappers (aside from Alyssa Milano, who gets VIBitca Treatment), but he's actually the most natural of them all, with a low-key, unforced delivery most of the time.

The girls, though--they're just a *weird* ensemble, with an incestuous collection of actorly tics and affectations. They all do the exact same shit--strike bizarre poses, pull exaggerated faces, moue and preen and pout. They even deliver their lines the same way, with stiff, stylized hesitations and rushes. I have never seen such a hyper-selfconscious cast of actors. They're arch and ironic, and a hard sourness permeates almost all scenes, sometimes even reaching their eyes--they seem to *know* they're neck-deep in dreck, and why wouldn't they? I suspect even bad actors know bad lines.

Anyway. Cole. He's probably not worth it, but I have to check him out, give him a trial run. Bad boys. They kink me up.


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