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18 April 2005 @ 10:32 am
Monday.  
Dear Boss of Me,

The aliens who abducted me last night are allowing me to write you this message to let you know that I will not be in today this week this month. I expect to be in good health on my return, always assuming that the probes are not fatal.

Can I consider this a paid leave of absence?

Yours,
Anna

***

Dear Boss of Me,

I'm enclosing a note from my mom excusing me from work this week. I haven't spoken to my mom in several years, so it was a surprise when she contacted me out of the blue requesting that I take this time off to rest and maybe do a little writing. I'm afraid I have to do as she says. She is my mom, you know.

I will try to remember to bring doughnuts for the team on my return.

Yours,
Anna

***

Dear Boss of Me,

I will not be returning to work, as Hollywood called and would like me to pen a few screenplays about manly love. There was also something about rocket launchers and a loyal dog, but I couldn't hear it all as there was some cell phone interference on the recorded message. The part about how they were offering me six million dollars was very clear though.

You may now consider me the Six-Million Dollar Woman. Ha ha ha.

Can you please pack and ship my posters and books to my home address? Thank you.

Yours,
Anna
 
 
 
Trepkostrepkos on April 18th, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)
Hey, you forgot the "A demon has sworn to take over my body for a month and make me do it's will" excuse.
Did I say "excuse"?
I meant "reason"!
ravurian: Catholicism Yay!ravurian on April 18th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)

Dear Boss of Anna,

Unfortunately Anna is on a Mission From God (tm) and is thus unable to come to work this week. Under the articles of Vatican II (Chapter 17 'Spying for the Lord'), you are required to proceed as if she is in fact at her desk each day until further notice. You will of course continue to pay her as normal.

Yours in faith,

Cardinal ravurian
Rome
Jonquil Serpyllumjonquil on April 18th, 2005 06:27 pm (UTC)
Dear Boss of Me,

I am calling in well. It is a brilliantly beautiful day. If I talk to you, the day will lose its luster. In the interests of beautiful days everywhere, I must go out and participate.

Yrs,
Jonquil
kaydee23kaydee23 on April 18th, 2005 06:46 pm (UTC)
Enjoy your new life!! :Waves:
rustybitchrustybitch on April 18th, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
Dogs loyal to manly love everywhere need more exposure.
Trepkostrepkos on April 18th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
Dear Boss of Anna

While it may appear that she is not at her desk today, this is in fact not the case.

She is just blinvisible.

Signed

Xander Harris
Alizarin_NYCalizarin_nyc on April 18th, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC)
Dear Boss of Anna:

Kindly allow your employee six months of paid vacation to attend the Anna-Appreciation Seminar. This will benefit you directly in that she will return a much happier, much more productive and loyal drone *ahem* worker. Her attendance at said seminar is mandatory, as is your participation, and of course, the continued cutting of her checks. Do not attempt to reach her during the next six months as she will be honing her skills at being herself and we want to ensure uninterrupted worship of her being for all her loyal readers.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Joss Whedon
witlingwitling on April 18th, 2005 08:15 pm (UTC)
OMG, you got the Hollywood call too??!!??

::morose::