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07 March 2005 @ 01:40 pm
Secret Fannish Shame  
kita0610's meme was too good to resist. Plus it takes at least fifteen minutes from my brain to recover from lunch, so I should do something productive with that downtime. But as ladycat777 notes in her own post, I don't really have shame about most of these things. I am pretty shameless. Most of these aren't so secret either. *g*



1. I was converted to Sentinel fandom by a songvid set to Celine Dion's "Seduces Me." I found it breathtaking--I didn't even know who the characters *were* at that point, but it had a big guy and a little guy and I was like OMG!Squee!

2. I've enjoyed stories where: a character turns out to secretly be an elf; a male character is impregnated by aliens and yes, does give anal birth; a story where one guy turns into a giant panther and he and his partner have sex. Come to think of it, these were all Sentinel stories. I love that fandom!

3. Possibly my first BtVS "crackfic" addiction was Repossession. I think it badly needs an editor--I apologize in advance for this unsolicited critique if the author is reading this--and is just too, too long and repetitive, but the early bits in particular hit lots of my kinks.

4. With only one or two exceptions, I've never been the slightest bit into f/f slash. It does nothing for me. Until B/S I pretty much felt the same about het.

5. Even after seven-ish years of online fandom-hopping, I still find most (not all) gen fiction redundant to canon and personally uncompelling, no matter how well-written.

6. Spike/Lorne!

7. So so much of my early X-Files fan-fiction.

8. I've harbored so many elaborate and graphically bizarre fantasies in my head, it's not even funny. Mostly about Spike. Stories where: Spike is raped and tortured and then gets lots of healing comfort sex; Spike becomes a slayer; Spike is turned into a woman and Xander and Riley fall in love with him and they all live happily ever after; Xander and Spike buy a suburban home and adopt a cat and live happily ever after; Spike is ignored by all the BtVS and AI gang and becomes emotionally scarred and suicidal and is taken in by Lorne and is romantically healed into a state of pure happiness; Jack Davenport plays a watcher in the Jossverse and falls madly for Spike and vice versa, and Spike loses his soul and dons a slave collar to restrain his temptations, and then Jack's character turns out to be an angel; Spike suffers a vengeance curse that forces all the BtVS/AI males to have sex with him, because if they don't they'll DIE!

ETA: Oh god, I forgot about the one where Spike and a bunch of the guys are prisoners in what's essentially a Nazi camp and Spike becomes a general's bitch and has to wear make-up and femmey clothes and barter his ass to get the guys special treatment; and the one where he's blind and extremely rich and running Angel Investigations and has his own helicopter. Hee.

My head amuses me.

9. I'm often deeply out of synch with my flist--I'm not into daddy!kink, RPGs, tag-writing, most RPS, Remus/Sirius, not to mention the shows people watch (House, Veronica Mars, Lost, etc). Sometimes it makes me quite sad.

10. It's not fannish, but I cried at both Elf and Bad Santa. *g*
 
 
 
kassrachel on March 7th, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC)
Bad Santa was...surprisingly moving, for a film about a drunken prick who robs department stores. Mosty I think Billy Bob Thornton is the bomb, there...
Anna S.eliade on March 7th, 2005 10:59 pm (UTC)
...for a film about a drunken prick who robs department stores.

That actress from Gilmore Girls really added a lot--with most actresses, you'd have been like, "What does she *see* in him?" Actually, I still thought that but she did her best to sell it. *g*

silly_grlsilly_grl on March 7th, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC)
3 - I have the same deep dark shame, and I read the whole thing beginning to end. ;)
...my hand caught his hair running...mousewrites on March 7th, 2005 10:16 pm (UTC)
Me too. I even rec'ed it, back when I was about 16 chapters in... It ended at, what 135 chapters?

gah.
(no subject) - silly_grl on March 7th, 2005 10:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - notasalmon on March 7th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
LadyCatladycat777 on March 7th, 2005 09:48 pm (UTC)
8. Omg, please write these. Some of these. All of these. Please.

9. I think sometimes we all feel this way. I am into half of what you mentioned, but most only peripherally and ... yeah. sadness.
Anna S.eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:01 pm (UTC)
8. Omg, please write these. Some of these. All of these. Please.

I keep thinking I may write one or two of them someday, but so far I haven't quite gotten around to it. *g*

9. I think sometimes we all feel this way. I am into half of what you mentioned, but most only peripherally and ... yeah. sadness.

I feel like in my last few fandoms, I was the one who moved on before other people, but now, it seems like a revolving door, and I'm always thinking, "No, wait! Come back!"
daddy's not done talking: oc::leik woahros_fod on March 7th, 2005 09:48 pm (UTC)
ASS BABY!
Anna S.: hepburn_kjveliade on March 7th, 2005 11:01 pm (UTC)
ALIEN ASS BABY!
Trepkostrepkos on March 7th, 2005 09:51 pm (UTC)
Spike suffers a vengeance curse that forces all the BtVS/AI males to have sex with him, because if they don't they'll DIE!

You have to write this one!
Anna S.eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:05 pm (UTC)
You have to write this one!

It was actually realling interesting in my head: I customized each scene (one guy per night, six nights) to fit the personality of the guy Spike was with. Like, Gunn quickly got over his knee-jerk homosexual panic and was all buddy-like and surprisingly willing to reciprocate with penetration; Giles was a bit edgy and didn't even get his clothes off before he did the deed; Angel and Spike weren't really into it much, but they had this comfortable history--though I think Angel was the only one who didn't stay the night; and Wesley was the first guy and he was pretty laid-back about it, not at all threatened by any orientation implications. Et cetera. ;>)
(no subject) - trepkos on March 7th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - trepkos on March 7th, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ponygirl2000 on March 7th, 2005 11:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - trepkos on March 7th, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
julia_herejulia_here on March 7th, 2005 10:05 pm (UTC)
3. You and me both, boy howdy.

Read every bit, reread some bits every once in a while. The scene where the slivers come out is some of the best fic writing ever, but... Mark Twain and little darlings comes to mind, here.

Julia, and any and all of 8 would be more interesting ideas than most of what I've read lately, but I read way too much fic
Anna S.: spike_goldeliade on March 7th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC)
The scene where the slivers come out

Oh yeahhh--I remember that. I liked that quite a lot. I think of it every now and then when I'm wondering, "How can I torture Spike today?"
Divya: moonwatch by Spuzz_divya_ on March 7th, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC)
1. I was converted to Sentinel fandom by a songvid set to Celine Dion's "Seduces Me." I found it breathtaking--I didn't even know who the characters *were* at that point, but it had a big guy and a little guy and I was like OMG!Squee!

Are the vids online still? Because you're one of the people who converted me to Sentinel fandom, and I'm curious.

Speaking of big guy/little guy, you should see the movie The Rundown. The big guy is The Rock, true, but um, he's been hired to take the little guy back home. Against his will. There's handcuffs and fighting, and later, friendship and trust. It's quite slashy if you squint. And you don't even have to squint too much.
Anna S.eliade on March 7th, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC)
Are the vids online still? Because you're one of the people who converted me to Sentinel fandom, and I'm curious.

It's not online as far as I know. I saw it at a Connexions con, about seven years ago. Sorry! (And yay for fannish conversion! *g*)
rusty_halo on March 7th, 2005 10:20 pm (UTC)
Remus/Sirius is very tasty, but I'm not into any of that other stuff, either. I like that most of us can keep in touch even when our fannish interests change. Though it does suck to feel left out when everyone else is enjoying something you're no longer into.

Regarding #8--I love that you come up with these ideas that sound so strange in summary, and yet when you write them, they are absolutely gorgeous and riveting. Your brain is so cool.

The Celine Dion thing, though? That's unforgivable. :P
Anna S.: kitteneliade on March 7th, 2005 11:06 pm (UTC)
Regarding #8--I love that you come up with these ideas that sound so strange in summary, and yet when you write them, they are absolutely gorgeous and riveting. Your brain is so cool.

Thank you! :-D

The Celine Dion thing, though? That's unforgivable. :P

But...but...it was so sweet!
flaming museflaming_muse on March 7th, 2005 10:20 pm (UTC)
You do realize that 8 is among the reasons that so many of us fangirl you, right? Okay, then.
Anna S.: xandereliade on March 7th, 2005 11:06 pm (UTC)
You do realize that 8 is among the reasons that so many of us fangirl you, right? Okay, then.

*blush*

*nibbles your icon and then nibbles you*
inapickle on March 7th, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
I brought this on myself.
I have never read an MPREG story, because the very idea gives me The Freakies. And I know very little about it.

What I am trying to say is, I had no idea that people are writing stories about anal birth.

Part of me is gone forever.
Anna S.eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:06 pm (UTC)
Re: I brought this on myself.
You didn't know there was anal birth? Tsk tsk. What kind of fan-of-the-world are you? *g*
Re: I brought this on myself. - inapickle on March 7th, 2005 11:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I brought this on myself. - eliade on March 7th, 2005 11:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I brought this on myself. - inapickle on March 7th, 2005 11:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Tuesday Has No Phonesthebratqueen on March 7th, 2005 11:40 pm (UTC)
#1 - I know that vid!! I was already into Sentinel fandom at that point, but I was nearly converted to Celine Dion by it. Thankfully sanity later prevailed. Though the song is still cool. As is the vid.
Anna S.: luminous_dancerseliade on March 7th, 2005 11:44 pm (UTC)
Though the song is still cool. As is the vid.

I agree! Though I think I only ever saw the vid once, maybe twice. *g*
(no subject) - thebratqueen on March 7th, 2005 11:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
witlingwitling on March 8th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC)
See, you remind me of all the Secrete Shamefule Phantasies that inhabit my head and that I did not think to share. Which I think is a good thing. But I like yours; I rub up against them and purr.

I think my single biggest Shamefule Secrete is my tendency to Mary-Sue myself into the characters' lives. But never to date them, or to be Shiny and Perfect--always to be a disgruntled, lesbian or proto-lesbian outsider who gives the guys a hard time and then disappears. Viz. Liv in Modus, Luz in Ars, Bitte in the prawnverse, and a whole bunch of others still trapped in my head. Whence they shall not issue.
Trepkostrepkos on March 8th, 2005 02:39 pm (UTC)
"my tendency to Mary-Sue myself into the characters' lives"

Well, it was a well-kept secret. Didn't see you in there - which is a good thing, right?
squeeze me, stomp me,  make me winemoosesal on March 8th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
I cried at Grumpy Old Men from the heart attack all the way to end. :)
Herself_nycherself_nyc on March 8th, 2005 12:45 am (UTC)
Re #8-- This is why I'm at least as much a fan of you as I am of Joss. Even when you merely describe these stories, I get all excited. If you wrote any of them, I'd have multiple orgasms.

Re #9-- I watch many of the shows, but to me they're just shows. I don't want to read or write fic. And I also don't get into the daddy!kink, RPGs, tag-writing, most RPS, Hogwarts alums. So come sit by me ....
Explicit Adult Content? You're soaking in it!: niiiiceyin_again on March 8th, 2005 03:13 am (UTC)
and the one where he's blind and extremely rich and running Angel Investigations and has his own helicopter. Hee.

I am still utterly fascinated by this premise.

Also, you are wonderful.