I jotted barely legible impressions on pieces of notebook paper, torn out with ragged edges. Earnest narrator's voice: "These are those impressions." (And some additional scribbling.)
Angela Bassett: so so so so so so so fucking hot. I loved Director Chase even before we found out Syd's firing was a charade.
Weiss: "Thanks for sweating." The hell? I love it.
Vaughn: "Last year sucked." Yay, meta.
Ohmygod, Sloane! The audacity of this--coming full circle. Unreal.
The credits? Suck ass.
I like Jared, the Subway guy. I respect him and I say, Go, Jared! Later slimming commercials though, not to mention tooth whiteners--what the hell is up with all of these? Apparently they're counting on gloomy people with New Year's resolutions wanting to look like Jennifer Garner. Pfft.
Back to the show. "No accountability." Oh dear god. (And then I wrote: "Snerk.")
CIA, their own SD6, uh huh.
No apparent affiliation to the CIA? Buh? Um, yeah. Let's just notice shall we, that even in this very first episode having *said* that, someone recognizes Vaughn. I mean, come on. Please. These people have "CIA" indelibly entwined in their freaking DNA.
Random note: "Already kind of lame."
Note on dad reprimanding his daughter for a snarky Sloane-centric comment in the meeting: Jeez, dad, any chance you're being a little *too* cold-ass professional? Want to cut your daughter a break there? (On the flip side, Sydney? Not so professional. Also, I wouldn't want to work with her. Ever.)
Observation: No personal offices. Not quite cubicles. Apparently just a big maze of work stations. More pitiful than my own situation.
Syd has a nice apartment. Why is she listening to Sarah McLachlan?
She wants to take it slow with Vaughn. Um, right. (I actually wrote "Buh?" again.)
So when I was watching Syd for the second time have to play floozy for science guy, while Vaughn was trying to cut a business deal with bad guy, I thought how much I'd *love* to see Vaughn have to be the one to bitch it up in an episode, play the kissy-face game with some asshole. I mean, that's the slasher in me, the homoerotic female eye, but still. Some parity here, people. (So sure, real parity would mean he'd have to fake it with a female mark, but don't tread on my dreams here, or I'll cut ya.)
McDonald's commercial: duvet cover. Hilarious. First time ever.
And now we're back to the show and playing U2. I like that song. Their make-up sex was wan but sweet. I did not grab my penny-loafer and heave cookies in it. See, I can be all about the canonical het, yo. (My note says: "totally made happy w/het canon.")
Commercials. Gilbert Gottfried. NONONONONONO!
Wittenberg. At the close of last season I thought this was all about Project Christmas. I bet they came up with the assassination plot when they couldn't get Lena Olin back. Hmm.
Note: TOO MANY COMMERCIALS!
Back to show, and my thought now is: I miss Will. Sigh.
Why is Syd wearing glasses at home alone? Are they top-secret techno-glasses that let her see whether the stew is done?
Ooh, man. Syd to Jack: "that sickening cologne." That is harsh. Super, bitter harsh. Even when they make up he'll be smarting over that for a long time. She's back to despising dad, too. Boring. Predictable.
Now we learn Jack killed Irina. Right. Moving on now, to--
Sloane's upturned jacket collar. ::pause:: ::contemplate:: ::crickets chirp::
Moving on. Weiss and Marshall! Mention of Sark!
"We had eggs." Oh, Marshall. *smooch* Weiss: "Don't do that."
And then, poor Marshall. "Am I dead?" Ha. Love. "Sloaaaaaaaaaane is here."
Marshall leavens everyone else's heavy, self-important angst. Thank Christ.
Okay, plot. Plot plot plot. Why the fuck are they searching for this sword. I have. no. idea. Also, I don't care.
"...double-breasted serious robot Dixon" -- so nice of them when they pull out a dab of meta.
Jack! "Better she detest me..." than learn the truth. Oh, woobie.
Okay, what. Voiceprint? What? I have no fucking idea what's going on. Plot plot plot plot something else plot.
Sword, so very Kill Bill of them. Also what's up with the hems of her jeans? She's going to trip and fall on her ass. How professional will that be?
Mía Maestro as Nadia, right? I started off the ep thinking, mm, gorgeous. Then got bugged by her eyebrows and later by the fact she's going to be a regular. Boring.
Plot plot plot.
Assassin-client privilege: hah.
So now we learn mom tried to assassinate Syd. Shyeaahhhh.
Near the end--power line-up, or power stance maybe, of all the new main regular characters in the APO. Makes me think of Angel and Buffy. But no Weiss. And Weiss as the new Will? Um, no. Please don't. Stop now. Really. He can in no way believe that Syd works for a bank. We will soon learn that he has some Ulterior Motive or Secret Job of his own, I'm sure.
Syd to Jack: "You killed her to save me..." Weeping. My note: "eyeball roll"
Then, dude, my favorite part of absurdity:
Nadia: "Can we talk?"
Syd: "Sure. In MOSCOW."
Long time to wait for a conversation. If I'd been Nadia, I'd have been like, um, yeah, sorry, forgot my passport, gotta go now, sis, left the oven on.
And those are my thoughts.