Meme Redux is solely for the benefit of
laurashapiro, who needs a little tummy rub right now. I couldn't really think of anything to apologize to my BtVS characters for in actual stories--Nazi uniforms? fancy dress balls? hot gay sex? what's not to love?--so I thought I'd apologize for all the abominations I inflict on them in the So, Spike. Er, yeah. You always start out tough, and then like a witch in a candy house, I shove you in my Easy-Bake Oven and you come over all soft and muffiny. I take enormous pleasure in making you cry--sorry, but you're just so pretty with those tear tracks on your face.
In brief, sorry about the:
- gang-bang by sweaty Visigoths
- trained dogs
- constricting leather harness
- magical collar
- hallucinatory insanity
- ball-gag
- excessive nakedness and kneeling
- erotic abuse to your dangly bits
- oral rape
- spangly harem pants
- Victorian dresses
- forced prostitution and drug addiction
- career in male modeling
- Fabio hair
- intestinal parasite
- years of mute, grumpy slavery
- boot-licking
- disco
- eternity in hell
Also, that thing with your mother's head. And, well, so much more.
Still, Xander was a pretty good master most days, and Riley too.
Oh, and about the ritual mummification. Sorry, I didn't know he'd take it that far. I wish I could promise it won't happen again. Still, you're used to coffins, and it's not as if you've got any blood flow. What's the big deal?
Xander, I think the mummification was good for you. You needed to chill.
Riley, you're a newcomer here with no tenure to speak of, so you don't get any apologies, but you can have some advice: do as I say, not as I do. Be sweet to your vampire, and keep the fridge stocked with blood.
No more apologies after this.
And now... the comfy chair!