But I remain perky! Perky! ...oh who am I kidding. I want a chocolate bar. It's really just the small fact that all the chocolate bars in the world--think about that, all the chocolate bars in the world--lie outside my apartment, rather than inside, that keeps me from this indulgence.
Five hours later and my jaw is still numb. I wonder if I could stick tacks in my face without pain? I could post memos on myself. But no, no. No.
I'd write, but there are elves in my head. Soft fluffy elves. They are whispering a word, a special word. I think it is "couch."