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11 July 2004 @ 03:25 pm
attack of the giant leeches  
With the more or less intensive working out I'm doing this summer, I'd hoped a new clarity of mind would develop as a kind of side-benefit, which would let me be more productive with my writing. That hasn't quite happened yet. My trainer said that as you lose weight, toxins are released through your bloodstream and you can actually feel kind of crappy now and then. I've noticed. And like today I'm sometimes struck with a draining sense of tiredness as if a giant leech had attached itself to my brain-stem and was sucking all the energy from my body. But last week was a great week, so I'm hoping I'll catch the upswing of the cycle again this week.

I should go work out. When in doubt, go work out. Hmm. I think I just invented a mantra or at least a truism. I also want to write. I may be too tired to concentrate to write, and given recent experience, working out first may not solve that by giving me an energy boost--I might just end up crashed on the couch in recovery for the rest of the evening instead. Meanwhile, I lightly brood.

Yesterday I went to the symphony as mentioned with friends and it was pretty cool, though as the second half entered full swing with all the Italian singing, I wished I hadn't stashed my program under the seat. I wanted to follow along and translate the words, but dredging up my program would have required an acrobatic floorward lunge that didn't seem appropriate. Still, it was neat, and I'm thinking about seeing more shows and maybe even getting a season ticket. Afterward, we went out to eat and to the movies, and I saw Spiderman 2 for the third time, because like so many others, I am a sucker trapped in the busily crunching jaws of the Hollywood machine.

kjv31 and anaxila gave me a recommendation for a car trip around the Olympic Peninsula, which I think I'm going to follow up on. After my last day at work, a month ago, I set out to drive the Cascade Loop--I overshot to Spokane, where I briefly stayed before getting back on track. Coming out through the farming plains along Highway 2, my car was often the only thing moving as far as the eye could see. Coming back, the mountains were full of snow, and again, on stretches of highway through the National Forest--Okanogan, maybe, or Wenatchee--I was the only car on the road for glacial eras of time, winding slowly through the trees under an overcast sky, musing on fate and engine failure.

These notes are a time-killing kind of randomness. Or maybe just time-wounding. Except you don't get time back, do you. So I guess time spent is time dead. I pause for a moment here to see if there's a profound thought lurking there somewhere, but there's not.

I blink sleepily, I go.
hoegh on July 11th, 2004 03:43 pm (UTC)
Mmmmm, roadtrip...
sometimes I wonder why I didn't just become a trucker and make trips all the time and earn lots of money and then do intellectual stuff in my spare time. But of course it would be almost exclusively freeway driving. Bwah. And I really like cooking almost as much as driving. So.

I enjoyed your trip description very much, though.
Trepkos: snuggle bunniestrepkos on July 11th, 2004 03:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Mmmmm, roadtrip...
I envy drivers who can have their dog at work.
beowulf1 on July 11th, 2004 03:48 pm (UTC)
I am so happy you are working out with a trainer. People think they can "do it themselves" and waste hours in the gym going from machine to machine doing the exercises incorrectly or hurting themselves. I think a trainer is essential, especially when you're starting out and trying to get on a positive track.

I started with my trainer at one of the lowest points of my life. I still am amazed that I was able to get through the door at the gym and talk with someone about finding a trainer. I felt horrible and I looked worse. I got paired up with a guy named Clay. I knew myself well enough to know that I would blow off working out and veg on the couch if I didn't have someone waiting for me at the gym. I originally intended to only be with him perhaps a month and then strike out on my own. That month became years. He changed my life for the better. I'd still be with him, but he and his wife split up and he moved back to his home town. I've found another trainer, but I still miss Clay terribly.

If you want some eye candy, check out his website. Go to (f you had that waiting at the gym for you, you'd show up too!)
Trepkos: Antstrepkos on July 11th, 2004 03:50 pm (UTC)
I definitely recommend working out for sanity - if I'm ever really wound up about something, then going for a jog, or a swim, in particular, really helps clear my head and put stuff into perspective.
I actually am at the stage where I feel crappy if I go more than a day without any form of exercise, but I think you need to take at least one day off per week.
Also, if you feel fit, you can at least imagine solving problems with people who annoy you by fisticuffs, even if you mostly decide not to!
Glad you are OK.
kassrachel on July 11th, 2004 03:56 pm (UTC)
Go you with the working out! I seem to be barely scraping by with one or two workouts a week -- not enough to really create any changes in my body, but enough to at least feel good about it when I go, which is something, I guess.

And the symphony! And Siderman 2! Yay.
tesserae_ on July 11th, 2004 05:50 pm (UTC)
These notes are a time-killing kind of randomness

Oh, I don't know. I think there's a lot to be said for the notion that for writers, life happens equally in the telling of it. Don't you find yourself putting it into words as you go? Isn't this then just the transcibing?
tesserae_ on July 11th, 2004 05:50 pm (UTC)
These notes are a time-killing kind of randomness

Oh, I don't know. I think there's a lot to be said for the notion that for writers, life happens equally in the telling of it. Don't you find yourself putting it into words as you go? Isn't this then just the transcribing?
Fifi: spikey finest hourfifitrixabelle on July 12th, 2004 06:52 am (UTC)
Mmmm, wonderful road-trips through miles of expansive nothingness. See there are things I can envy you Americans for ;o)
Pamgoosegirl9 on July 12th, 2004 07:20 am (UTC)
Hey, what Tesserae said. I'm borrowing her eloquence ... I'm so glad to hear that you are exercising, and in general enjoying life.

laurashapiro on July 12th, 2004 10:09 am (UTC)
Sometimes it's just wacky. I have days at the gym where everything's remarkably easy, where the 20 minutes on the crosstrainer fly by, barely quickening my breath, and where I bump up the weight on all my machines. I feel strong, mighty, corded with stunning muscle -- sometimes I can even see it in the locker-room mirror, if I squint. And I leave all bouncy and refreshed and excited.

Other days, like today...oy. Everything was so. Damned. Hard. And not in the buns-of-steel way. More like in the body-of-totally-useless-jello way. Grunting and sweating and huffing miserably as my arms and legs and stomach and butt whine in pain and beg to know why I'm doing this to them and how soon I can stop. And I am every bit as tired and blah-brained as I was when I woke up this morning.

You never know.
mfthe_emef on July 12th, 2004 01:38 pm (UTC)
I just got back from a week off and saw that you were writing in your lj again. Just wanted to say : I'm thrilled.