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01 May 2004 @ 07:31 pm
PSA & A Day at the Movies  
So, some Friday night, you might find yourself thinking, "Hey, you know what this party needs? A zombie flick!" And then you might decide to watch, say, "House of the Dead" because you'd never seen it before. Plus, zombies. So you start watching. This would be a mistake. Because this is the worst. movie. ever. made. I didn't realize it was based off a video game. Never mind that--I'm willing to maintain that's not the kiss of death. But throughout the movie they intercut real action with animated video game shots. In the middle, during a giant zombie-hacking fight scene, this technique hits maximum frequency and is accompanied by the cheesiest slow-mo scenes ever. Agape with boredom as I was watching this, I pressed the fast-forward button. And left it there. And the scene went on...and on...and on. And on and on and on and on and on and on. So then I said fuck the four bucks and cut it off.

"Freddy vs. Jason" is available; so is the remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Someone stop me. Must not click through to trashy horror flicks that will scar my tender little mind.

Earlier I gave three-quarters of my attention to "Scorn," a movie where Eric Johnson (Whitney Fordman from Smallville) plays a gay homicidal teen. He did a pretty good job, despite several lengthy scene-chewing monologues from Camus's "Caligula" or whatever the hell it was. He was arrogant, psycho, and rather pretty, and they had a shot of him lying naked next to his boyfriend, whom he stupidly dumped to pursue his murderous schemes.

This is odd--guy named Brendan Fletcher is in "Freddy vs. Jason," and in "Scorn," and also in both "Ginger Snaps" movies. I think he was the cute one.

"Go Fish" is on Showtime now. Groundbreaking lesbian film by Rose Troche, finally getting some play because of her association with "The L Word." Black and white, not particularly well acted, but pretty charming. Kind of like "Dykes to Watch Out For" brought to the screen, but with only half the calories political pontificating. Plus, a truckload of cute girls. Hmmm. I want that haircute...er, haircut.

God, this is boring. But my wrist hurts from stacking pigs and there is nothing else I want to do with myself.
rubywisp: spike/dru vagabonds by anniesjrubywisp on May 1st, 2004 07:38 pm (UTC)
That stacking pigs things is addictive. You are evil.
Anna S.: lex_scotcheliade on May 2nd, 2004 12:05 am (UTC)
Thank you! Would you like some catnip?
(Deleted comment)
braver: serial_swallow on May 1st, 2004 11:01 pm (UTC)
Re: I found the pigs
> demoralizing and also slightly accusatory. Their squints felt personal.

Yes, yes! ... I think I'll go play it some more.

Man, I haven't even figured out how to make the pig catch the extra-time bauble.
Anna S.eliade on May 1st, 2004 11:37 pm (UTC)
Re: I found the pigs
It took me a while to get the time-bubble. What you have to do is focus entirely on it and not worry about stacking the pig. The pig will just keep bouncing from side to side--it won't go anywhere, which gives you time to aim. You have to drop the bomb on the pig as it passes. Then go back to stacking them again. :>)
braver: object_swallow on May 1st, 2004 11:48 pm (UTC)
Re: I found the pigs
Hmm, so the pig doesn't have to be off the bubble, just beneath the bomb as it comes down?

Anna S.: daniel_geekyeliade on May 2nd, 2004 12:06 am (UTC)
Re: I found the pigs
Ohhh, they were only squinting at you because they left their glasses in the pen. *kiss*
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.: hepburn_kjveliade on May 1st, 2004 11:58 pm (UTC)
You made a pig icon! Pigicon. It's almost pig iron. *g*
light of other days: bootlickiliadawry on May 1st, 2004 09:25 pm (UTC)
Resident Evil wasn't bad. Zombies and based on a video game. I mean, I didn't walk out of the theatre crowing "This is the MEANING of CINEMA!!," but I also paid $2 to see it again a few months later when some friends were going. So, not completely the kiss of death.
Anna S.eliade on May 2nd, 2004 12:00 am (UTC)
Resident Evil--good point. Also, zombies, incidentally. What is it about zombie vid games that makes people say, "Hey, I oughta sign Ben Affleck for this baby!" Weird.

I was disappointed in Resident Evil for an odd reason--I had no idea it was about zombies, and the first 30-40 minutes were very cool and hyper-conceptual and well executed, then suddenly...zombies. I was like, buhhhh? But it had a slick cool surface, and I should watch it again.
light of other daysiliadawry on May 3rd, 2004 08:01 am (UTC)
I like zombies (well, as horror elements) and, since I expected them, they didn't seem so jarring.
Barb: numfarrahirah on May 1st, 2004 11:10 pm (UTC)
OK, no, it can't be the worst movie ever, because "Orgy of the Damned" makes nekkid women dancing boring.
Anna S.eliade on May 2nd, 2004 12:02 am (UTC)
I thought your icon said, "Numfar, do the dance of Bon Jovi!" My eyes are starting to blur.

If we're truly going to rank movies, then the MST3K'ers have got an edge on Red Zone Cuba and Manos: The Hands of Fate. But in terms of movies we actually pay to see...hmm, I think I'll take your word for Orgy of the Damned and not, er, rent it. :)
Poshykittyposhcat on May 1st, 2004 11:27 pm (UTC)
It's funny that you called this post boring, because I was just thinking that your posts are getting more revved up by the minute. Of course, I never comment because I don't know what to say, but I always enjoy them, which still counts. It does!

But my wrist hurts from stacking pigs

Yeah. My wrist hurts from hitting crabs with my yo yo. So worth it, though. :0)
Anna S.: weseliade on May 2nd, 2004 12:04 am (UTC)
Aww. You're so sweet. And I seem to be hyper-focused on icons tonight but I'm just saying: anytime you want to drop by my place--LJ, office, apartment--and bring that icon with you, I will pay you a million billion dollars. And give you cheese and crackers. I am dead from the pretty. I am...a zombie!