I managed to defy fate by going through another whole week with no clean pants, by thinking outside the hamper and redefining the meaning of "clean." Which wasn't all that antisocial of me, because my usual standard when it comes to clothes is: if it touched the floor, burn it. You wear it once, nuke it. But I raked the pants up from the forest floor, sniffed them, ironed them, and wore them. This is my accomplishment for the week.
When I was walking to work this morning, a woman walking in the opposite direction smiled at me as if having a private joke. I was suspicious. I would have let that go, but on the next block, a guy waiting for a bus turned and said, "Nice day, isn't it?" I nodded and smiled and walked on casually, but in the privacy of my thoughts I couldn't help but think, What the hell did he mean by that? Certain that I'd somehow acquired a bright red clown nose or the mark of Satan on my brow I checked my face in the next rear-view truck mirror. Nothing. Further inspection seemed to clear me of all suspicion, but a minute later someone looked at me for a moment too long and I decided that the local evening news had run my picture last night in reference to a story on geeks among us. I'd been pegged. I needed to get out of town.
I learned this morning that it's physically impossible to see a multicolored glob of clay attached to a bus window and not touch it. Not having any coffee in me yet, I poked it several times before it occurred to me that this might be the work of terrorists. You never know when you'll come across a wad of ebola in the Seattle transit system. Learn from my mistake.
Blond vampires are against the rules. I decided this last night while watching ("watching") Wes Craven's Dracula II: Ascension. Spike's hair is dyed that way--Spike's hair died that way--because he's a rebel, man, but no one ever turns a natural blond. Darla? Natural blonde? Hmm. I don't think I'm girly enough to make an educated guess.
This is the only song I've listened to today. It's five minutes and thirty-nine seconds long. I've been listening to it on autoreplay for about five hours now. My head kind of hurts.