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29 March 2004 @ 12:09 pm
your Monday or mine.  
My mind snapped this morning. I've got the Project from Hell at work. It's undergone a constant stream of revisions that hamstring my own tasks. This morning I was told that in order to make the pissy execs happy, we'd roll out a pilot program in a few days, instead of a full launch a month from now, which in itself was a ridiculously premature date to shoot for.

I looked through the open job listings at my company this morning. But there's nothing suited to my skills.

Saturday I left the crypt and shopped like mad, distracting myself from the rest of my life, winding up with sore feet and bags of Bon-Macy bargains. Also my landlords had given me a holiday gift card for Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I thought it was $10 or so, but it turned out to be $50.

Today I am spring-striped with new shoes and it's nearly seventy degrees outside.

Fannishly I'm out of step. My flist no longer reflects my interests. People have moved on to new fandoms and pairings. Enthusiams I don't share. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I think my last noir story disappointed and confused most readers. I'm floating in a void. It's dull here. Nothing interests me. I keep starting things and scrapping them.

And now, lunch. I notice that I always post just before lunch. I post and then I run off to escape the echoing sound of one hand clapping.
LadyCat: killer kitty!ladycat777 on March 29th, 2004 12:14 pm (UTC)

It didn't disappoint. Didn't disappoint me, and from the reactions *I* was seeing, it didn't disappoint anyone else. It did confuse me, but I'm easily confused and have a lovely pill-regimen I'm happy to blame it on. Also, it probably would've helped if I'd read it from the first chapter, which I haven't for some unknown reason.

Hit me with a kink, baby, if you want something pornish and drug-soaked. When you and Kirstina do it, I can write it. I don't know why.
rubywisp: spike b/w&punk by andemaiarrubywisp on March 29th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)
*smooches you and Anna both*
laurashapiro on March 29th, 2004 12:14 pm (UTC)
There's love over here. And a big dose of "me too," with respect to being out of step fannishly. Although hey, at least you still *have* fannish interests, which is more than I can say for myself. *rueful g*

Anyway. Your job sounds sucky and I'd like to come over there and kneecap the pissy execs, but failing that, I offer virtual hugs.
torchflambeau on March 29th, 2004 12:17 pm (UTC)
New shoes! I think we should have a shoe fandom. I'll ship your brand new innocent ones with my older, more jaded black trainers. "You're gonna get dirty, kid, sooner or later. Better be prepared for it. These are mean streets, and they leave their mark on you."
Herself_nycherself_nyc on March 29th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC)
I always love you.

And yeah, I'm still here in Joss-land while everyone else is dancing with the hobbits and the pirates and God knows who-all else that I'm never gonna care about. Don't leave me alone with them, I need you.
Brassy Hag: spandermiggy on March 29th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC)
I might not be producing much at the moment thanks to other obligations, but I'm in the same boat as Herself. I see my flist fill up with Sydney and Dom and Jack Sparrow and everything else, and I'm torn between sighing as I hit "page down" and quietly weeping. I'll be here, same stick in the vampire-filled mud as ever.
(no subject) - herself_nyc on March 29th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kassrachel on March 29th, 2004 12:20 pm (UTC)
I know the feeling of being fannishly out of step. It's part of why I ranted and railed so much when SV started airing -- it seemed to shatter my happy fantasy that everyone I knew and liked was happy in Sentinel. Which, obviously, in hindsight it's clear wasn't really true anymore by then, if it had ever been true, but it was my fantasy and I liked it. Sigh.

Re: noir -- knocked my fucking socks off, man. I like the whole noir season, but I thought you outdid yourself this time, in dazzling ways. Maybe people just aren't saying so -- I know I usually assume that lack of feedback means everybody hated something, and then somebody will say offhand, "oh, hey, that last thing was really good," and I realize what I was seeing was actually just apathy. *g*

Yay lunch. Me, I'm going to have a chocolate. :-)
Pamgoosegirl9 on March 29th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC)
Hey, I always, always love Noir. I read the last chapter, and know that I must print it and read it slowly. I have not commented because I know I need to re-read it. Slowly. I am pretty sure that you are a genius.
(Anonymous) on March 29th, 2004 12:32 pm (UTC)
It was great
Sorry to be anonymous but I haven't yet gotten around to signing up for a LiveJournal even though I lurk around several sites regularly. I just had to post when I saw you thought your last noir chapter disappointed. I think a lot of people just never get around to giving feedback, I know I probably don't do so as often as I should.

But I have to tell you, your last installment was nothing short of brilliant. It's a good story anyway, full of the wonderful characterization that is typical of your writing. But the way you turned everything on its head was eye-blinking -- characters who were still themselves but also shared traits with the character they were standing-in for. A totally new look at established relationships. It was so many shades of "wow" that maybe people just don't know where to start praising it. It's the musical eppy of your season -- daring and dazzling. I'm sorry you feel that a lot of folks are moving on, but there are still an awful lot who aren't.

Pamgoosegirl9 on March 29th, 2004 12:43 pm (UTC)
Hey, I always, always love Noir. I read the last chapter, and know that I must print it and read it slowly. I have not commented because I have not re-read it yet (work has not been fun for the last week and a half). I am pretty sure that you are a genius.

Hope your mood improves. I try to take little pleasant mini-vacations, which can be something as small as looking at flowers. Or eating a doughnut.
for you I'd bleed myself dry: bonibaru spuffyboniblithe on March 29th, 2004 12:43 pm (UTC)
I haven't read the last noir yet, as I've been saving it for a time when I can give it my undivided attention, but it's there taunting me like a chocolate donut at a weight watchers meeting. But I have heard brilliant things about it from other people, so don't start kicking yourself until I get a chance to send you feedback.

You'll always be high on my interests list no matter what fandoms you're lingering in :)
Pamgoosegirl9 on March 29th, 2004 12:44 pm (UTC)
Oops, sorry for the two posts.
longboarder on March 29th, 2004 12:55 pm (UTC)
noir pretty
I live for your Noir postings! Please don't leave the fans alone :)
Ozfanozfan on March 29th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)
Here's a hug. I kinda know how you feel. Just like herself and miggy said upthread, people have moved on to pirates and hobbits and Sark and Sydney or Queer as Folk and I dunno what else, and I feel alone. Happy for the people who have new or different or more engrossing shows/OTPs/films/whatever. But envious, because nothing else has really grabbed and held my interest.


For what it's worth, I'm crazy about your latest Noir installment.
Mintwitchmintwitch on March 29th, 2004 01:05 pm (UTC)
Fannishly speaking, I am out of step, and did not know you had posted a new chapter. I go now to read said chapter, and will return with the usual offerings...
JaneDavittjanedavitt on March 29th, 2004 01:33 pm (UTC)
I'm still in Buffy/Angel land ::shrug:: I did a PotC fic and two drabbles as a Christmas present and had fun but I'm happy where I am. I love the pirates and the hobbits, don't get me wrong; just don't want to write them.

You're not alone.

Honoria: brainshonoria on March 29th, 2004 01:46 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to say that I am an avid noir reader, and your latest story was a wild ride. I can't wait to see what happens next!

You write beautifully; I can see the scenes as they unfold, and hear the voices. I especially love Tara as nightclub singer.