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08 March 2004 @ 08:45 pm
argh.  
Why is it that trying to convince myself I want to sit down and write feels more like I'm trying to sell myself on the idea of sticking pins in my eyeballs.

Me: You really want to write.
Me2: Excuse me, you want me to stick *pins* in my *eyeballs*?
Me: No. *Write*, you lazy ass.
Me2: But I can't write while I'm lying on the couch. The computer is in the other room.
Me: Duh.
Me2: You mean I'd have to get up?
Me: You really are a masterpiece of lint and inertia.
Me2: But "Scream" is on. I've only seen it 41 times. 42 is the magic number. It's the meaning of life.
Me: I'm crushing your head! Crushcrushcrush!
Me2: This couch is comfy. If I lift my hand in front of my face, it's like my hand is Skeet Ulrich's head and my fingers are talking lips.
Me: ...
Spike: I'm sitting here in a bloody holding pattern, you stupid bint. Three more scenes, tops--is a little closure too much to ask?
Spike2: I'm still a whore and even though I've found true love in the well-muscled arms of a rich and manly Scotsman, I really think I should be with Xander. Why don't you lie down and ponder that for a while, hmm? I realize I'm speaking in a strangely out-of-character voice but I think my argument is convincing.
Me2: I am feeling...sleeeeepy.
Me: Laziest. Bitch. Ever.
Me2: Hey, I could go write this in my LiveJournal and kill ten minutes!
Me: *explodes, shattering bone fragements and brain matter across the walls*

The end.
 
 
 
Resident Know-It-Allbailunrui on March 8th, 2004 08:55 pm (UTC)
Your internal dialogue cracked me up. Seriously. :) I needed that.
timian on March 8th, 2004 08:57 pm (UTC)
Hee! That's almost precisely my experience with trying to write. Only I have imaginatively placed electrodes instead of the pins.
rubywisp: spander gay cabal by saraslashrubywisp on March 8th, 2004 09:12 pm (UTC)
*licks you*

(Only before the exploding. Because ew.)
Brassy Hag: slashmiggy on March 8th, 2004 09:29 pm (UTC)
When I drift off to sleep, my brain goes into Spander Planning Mode and neatly fills out my outline with lovely prose about dimensional crossovers and hesitant surveys of the new scars. Then I sit in front of the keyboard the next day and find a block has popped up overnight between brain and fingers. Gragh.
grackles on March 8th, 2004 10:21 pm (UTC)
That's the funniest thing I've read in days, thanks.
grifyn on March 8th, 2004 11:16 pm (UTC)
You really are a masterpiece of lint and inertia.

That line is a masterpiece. But your inner voice is snarkier than mine, and that pisses me off. I'm going to my Brooding Barcolounger to pout in a dark manner.
yonmei on March 9th, 2004 02:12 am (UTC)
and even though I've found true love in the well-muscled arms of a rich and manly Scotsman

*blinks* You're writing Spike/Duncan? Or Spike/Connor?

*blinks some more*

*is strangely charmed*
Anna S.eliade on March 9th, 2004 12:51 pm (UTC)
Heh. No. I have developed a strange pash for Liam Neeson, at least vis-a-vis Spike. Because he's so big, you know. And so...BIG. And manly and all. And that voice. And he'd pet Spike very gently and buy him lots of presents...*cough*.

::slinking off::
yonmei on March 9th, 2004 03:13 pm (UTC)
Liam Neeson?

Um.

Okay.
aromassa on March 9th, 2004 04:08 am (UTC)
Wow, thats such a classic me. The telling myself to write part, not the Spike part XD. Except I never do get to the notebook.
kassrachel on March 9th, 2004 04:08 am (UTC)
::laughing hysterically::

This is the best thing to wake up to. My whole day has been brightened. Because I so know what you are talking about. :-)
Dira Sudisdsudis on March 9th, 2004 06:35 am (UTC)
I'm suddenly tempted to make myself an icon that says "I am a masterpiece of lint and inertia."

Except, y'know. I'd have to think of a graphic. And do all that icon-making stuff, which, no.
Another Girl: Tara by megl42septembergrrl on March 9th, 2004 07:25 am (UTC)
I am, literally, LOL, because this is very much what my inner monologue sounds like.
(Anonymous) on March 9th, 2004 07:40 am (UTC)
[quote] I'm suddenly tempted to make myself an icon that says "I am a masterpiece of lint and inertia." [/quote]

It would have to be a close-up of someone's belly button.

And yeah, funniest line ever. Today anyway. Tomorrow I'll find a new funniest line ever, 'cause I'm fickle.

Set

Rebecca: Better Writers - cheebsnikitangel on March 9th, 2004 07:42 am (UTC)
I was going to pick a favorite line to quote, but I loved them all! That was hilarious!
laurashapiro on March 9th, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)
Thank gawd it's not just me.
Would you believe this is exactly what I go through when I'm trying to make myself vid?
Cicercicer on March 9th, 2004 12:40 pm (UTC)
Spike2: I'm still a whore and even though I've found true love in the well-muscled arms of a rich and manly Scotsman, I really think I should be with Xander. Why don't you lie down and ponder that for a while, hmm? I realize I'm speaking in a strangely out-of-character voice but I think my argument is convincing.

*dies laughing*
dancetomato on March 9th, 2004 02:03 pm (UTC)
Now I realize that I *need* an icon of Kevin McKinney looking through his fingers and crushing heads. That means searching for hours for the right screencap and then fighting with Photoshop Elements to make an icon that doesn't suck too much ass. And that's a lot of work. Curse you, woman!
mfthe_emef on March 9th, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
Your nitpicking for the day will now be performed by, ahem, moi
I think you mean either Mark McKinney or Kevin McDonald.

:)