My car tags are expiring. Bathos. I will soon be moving into the red zone of illegality, as the car would never make it to the emissions testing center. I am vaguely planning to buy a new one next time the trading window opens on my company stocks. I could have gotten in under the wire this time but was disheartened. I had finally roused myself--first time ever--to access my online account and check up on the status of my stocks. It's a handy thing, the online account. It handily told me that if I'd cashed out some stocks in October during the 52-week high, I'd have had thirty-thousand more dollars. I could have paid off a credit card, my student loan, and still bought a car, and when I was done, I'd still have the EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY I DO RIGHT NOW.
I know: "You can't live your life like that, Anna, and really, isn't it great that you have stocks *at all*?" Yes. Of course it is. Shut up.
I don't know why I'm feeling the urge to dish out all this mundane news. In a happier, couch-potatoey vein, I'm loving this whole cable "On Demand" feature so much I'm practically fellating my remote. I've discovered a bunch of cool movies I can watch on my own flaky schedule, along with all the HBO series, some Monty Python, and a Tracey Ullman special. Oh, and there's a ton of free Cinemax soft-core porn. Sometimes I tune in and just stare at the breasts for a few minutes. If I watch too long, though, I start to crack up.
If I could bring fan-fiction to life with the power of my mind (and wouldn't it be cool if I could wish certain people into the cornfield?) I'd have an all-slash, all-the-time channel. And another one for everything else worthy of being enacted by imaginary actors.
I'm thinking I need food.
ETA: I just had to call Comcast about something and discovered that they've only been offering the On Demand service for the last week or so. Apparently it's been available on the east coast for a while, but it's new here, so I haven't even been missing anything. Yay! ...and I am a dork and I still need food.