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01 March 2004 @ 02:39 pm
I want to be paid for writing fan-fiction. Please? Currently my top project here at work is to build a wizard. Which sounds kind of amusing, I'm sure, but IS NOT IS NOT IS NOT. Imagine my job duties chunked by percent--there are several different types of things I do, all important. Now imagine that I'm assigned a task which, at first glance, should represent about 10 percent of my workload. Now imagine that this same task is 80 percent of someone *else's* workload. Like, it's their entire *job*. And yet I'm supposed to do the same job while also doing everything else I'm responsible for.

See, writing tales of romance and derring-do and derriere-doing should be my job.

At the end of the meeting I just had for this project I turned to the SME and said, "I have to crawl under the table and cry now."

And now, some porn. This is just a scene without a story. Orphaned, not especially pleasing to me. But! Porn! I need porn too. And schmoop. In equal amounts. Like one handful of peanut butter and another of jelly.

I need lunch.

"Don't," Spike said, pulling back--or trying to. Didn't work so well when you found yourself up against a wall and squirming like an addled puppy.

But Xander pushed his head into the crook between Spike's jaw and shoulder and mouthed his neck and Spike twisted his head away, baring his throat by instinct, game face crawling under his skin, his fangs itching and lengthening, all of him a strained ache ready to flare loose. When Xander began biting a line up toward his ear, Spike's eyes flew open wide with shock and he made a shameful sound, hips arching and begging. Xander's hands teased up his sides and then slid his belt tongue from its buckle. Spike could feel it happening, couldn't recall how to stop it or why, and the roughness of Xander's jaw scraping his neck carried him right to the edge.

When Xander went down on his knees, Spike braced shoulders against the wall and let his hips be pulled forward. "Oh god," he said, sliding his fingers into Xander's hair. Desperation cracked his voice. "I need--"

"I know."

He didn't dare look down; if he kept his eyes closed--oh sweet bloody Christ, he couldn't fool himself and it couldn't be anyone but Xander, working him frantically through the denim, thumbs pressed hard into the grooves where his thighs joined. He rolled his head against the bricks and began to gasp, felt his zipper tugged down, cried out once when Xander sucked him in, sloppy and hot and greedy, making him writhe.

"Yes," he said, and the word was still a form of begging. Tears coming to his eyes, he rode out the pleasure as long as he could, but he was already driven close. "Xander!" Love was a bone-crushing, flaying, miserable surge, and every part of him remembered at once and he spilled with a sob.

And then Xander lurched to his feet and turned him and knocked his thighs apart, shoved his jeans down, pushed into him. He was slick and heavy and it hurt, but not enough. Spike relished it and let his cheek grind against the bricks as Xander fucked him with wild, brutal thrusts that torched Spike's heart and dragged him toward madness.

"I needed this," Xander forced out on frantic breaths. "I wanted this--always--oh god--"

Spike closed his eyes again. It was so good and it felt as if they'd done this a thousand times instead of the once. He'd remembered it just like this.
nestra on March 1st, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
Well, that just made my day better.

One day, if you want to feel better about your job, ask me about the time we had an argument with development about what actually constituted a wizard, and our assertion that dumping poorly written instructions on a screen did not make a wizard.
Divya_divya_ on March 1st, 2004 02:46 pm (UTC)
Mmm, porn. Thanks for that, it's gorgeous.
me: going down - mpoetess (share)surexit on March 1st, 2004 02:47 pm (UTC)
I like. Mmmmm.
saussy: BSB Xander7spoons on March 1st, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
How much do you want for that? A million? A squillion? I'll pay you anything.

Love was a bone-crushing, flaying, miserable surge, and every part of him remembered at once and he spilled with a sob.

Jesus Christ.
JaneDavitt: spikexanderbyessenejanedavitt on March 1st, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
Lovely and poignant. I'd pay you to do more ;-)
Poshykittyposhcat on March 1st, 2004 02:52 pm (UTC)
Holy moly!! That was really hot, and the library is no place for such hotness! I rode out the pleasure as long as I could as well, considering how short this was. ::spills with a sob, in a manner of speaking::

And...to whom do I make the cheque out? Or do you accept PayPal?
MustangSallymustangsally78 on March 1st, 2004 04:24 pm (UTC)
Shuan Cassidy
I think I had the magazine on your icon.

::is old::

Poshykittyposhcat on March 1st, 2004 08:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Shuan Cassidy
Hello, Sally dear! The sun rose and set on Shaun when I was younger. I was so excited when he gave up smoking! Heeeee!

Old??? Experienced. Mmm...experienced.
Anna S.eliade on March 1st, 2004 08:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Shuan Cassidy
I had a huge crush on Shaun when I was young and went to one of his concerts, in fact. I remember his big hit album, remember playing it on my wee record player and singing, "Met her on a Monday and my heart stood still...da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron."

Da doo ron ron? WTF?!
Poshykittyposhcat on March 1st, 2004 09:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Shuan Cassidy
Squeak! You went to a concert?? I love you sooo much.

And...somebody told me that her name was Jill. Hee! It would have been more experimental in nature if he'd kept the name "Bill" in that line.
(Anonymous) on March 2nd, 2004 09:43 am (UTC)
Re: Shuan Cassidy
I'll see your da doo ron ron and raise you a da diddly qua qua
Now who looks foolish?
zoniduck on March 1st, 2004 02:59 pm (UTC)

Sweetie, if I had a million dollars, I'd give you half of you would only write me pr0n like that forever. Bloody buggering hell.

::loves all over you::
witlingwitling on March 1st, 2004 03:30 pm (UTC)
Jesus Christ.

I curl up at your feet and tickle your toes with this here ostrich feather. Really.
emilybyrd on March 1st, 2004 03:34 pm (UTC)
I echo the comments above. If only they would let me pay you! Have you thought of putting an amazon link to Buffy DVD's and so forth on your website? You get a percentage of all the sales made from people clicking over from your site. I'm not sure what the legal ramifications are with a fanfic site... I would love to thank you in some way for all the delight your stories give me. My husband would like to thank you too for utterly obliterating many of my inhibitions. If anyone deserves remuneration for sharing talent you do!
Miss Murchisonmissmurchison on March 1st, 2004 03:34 pm (UTC)
You should be paid for this; it is a kind of wizardry.

Also, I recc'd your fic to a RL friend who I know never sends feedback no matter how much I scold her about it. So I am forwarding an "incredible" and several "Wows!"
herself_nyc on March 1st, 2004 03:36 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, this is SO FUCKING ROMANTIC. It's the most romantic thing I've read in a month. GAH.

:: dances around as if scorched, then plunges self into cold bath ::

Thanks for that.

I'm sorry you're off to seebuild the wizard.
Sofianetweight on March 1st, 2004 03:39 pm (UTC)
Oh sweet jesus GAH!

God, Anna! No words. Just happy tingles in all the right places. *G*

Thank you. *adores you*
essene on March 1st, 2004 03:40 pm (UTC)
*sigh* Paid to write fan fic. That'd be awesome.

The first time? Wow.
kassrachel on March 1st, 2004 03:49 pm (UTC)
See, writing tales of romance and derring-do and derriere-doing should be my job.

I couldn't agree with you more. When I think of writers I'd really like to sponsor, like if I had a billion dollars and could randomly pay people to write me porn, you are top of the list.

Also? On a related note? Lovely little snippet there; thank you. Mmm.
flaming june: marimekko_flaming_june_ on March 1st, 2004 04:34 pm (UTC)
::hires you::

::writes you fat check that will undoubtedly bounce but hopefully, prayerfully, not before you write more shmoop-porn::

::loves you::
droneish on March 1st, 2004 04:52 pm (UTC)
Anna, I would consort with the evil that is PayPal for you
So, can't pay you for fanfiction. I understand. But....I would gladly pay you for *existing.* And I daresay I'm not the only one. Seriously.

Which, probably you aren't. About getting paid, I mean. But listen, last Fall I found myself giving some musicians at the Farmers' Market $0.75 for not butchering a Neil Young song too badly. And I thought to myself - directly after - if *that's* worth 75 cents, then Anna, from whom I derive great orgasms joy practically daily, should be getting a straight-up 10%.

*Think about it* ::whispers seductively in your ear::

. _drogheda
ex_dovil323 on March 1st, 2004 11:35 pm (UTC)
I may have to sell a kidney, but it be so worth it to finance you to write full-time. But I'm a complete wimp so how many lines would a haircut and some nail clippings get me, do you think?

And so funny about Shaun Cassidy. I had such a major crush on him. We could have spent so many meaningful hours together, talking, brushing each others hair, doing each others make-up. My god, my Pretty Boy Spike obsession does have its roots.
Zyryazyrya on March 2nd, 2004 01:14 am (UTC)
I don't know what 'building a wizard' is all about, but if it doesn't mean 'writing fic' then your talents are being completely abused by your employers.
Maggiemaggie77 on March 3rd, 2004 07:02 pm (UTC)
That was just...neat! And lovely. And sort of sad. Thanks for writing - I wish I could pay you too! Hope your wizard-building is going better.

And this...?

When Xander went down on his knees, Spike braced shoulders against the wall and let his hips be pulled forward. "Oh god," he said, sliding his fingers into Xander's hair. Desperation cracked his voice. "I need--"

"I know."

That absolutely did me in. Gah! Mmmmmmm........ Nice!
paperk8: peekpaperk8 on March 5th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC)
oh man


Ok, good prOn leaves me without many words...
just fucking lovely.

Friended you, btw.
Anna S.eliade on March 5th, 2004 08:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)