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28 December 2003 @ 12:25 pm
but it's *good* spam  
Melymbrosia--she, whose very name means something possibly wondrous that I've never bothered to look up! she of the ever boiling noodle! no, really, I swear that means something!--posted a link to these fabulous, exquisitely tiny stories by some guy named Michael Swanwick, who just became my readerly crush of the day. Go read Mely's post and follow the links. She is a woman of much taste. Far tastier than Spam.

I think it's time for me to go to the grocery store, by the way. One of my purchases will be mayonnaise with which to make a sandwich. And the sandwich will be good and I'll eat it while reading more of these tiny little stories.

ETA: My favorite part of this croc movie is when they crashed the wee little model boat off some tidal rocks and pretended it was a really *big* boat with people inside, not to mention really big rocks, which they really weren't. This is funny. Especially without the sound on. Also, the croc's rubber legs do not detach from its sides. It's propelling itself through the water with the power of its mind! The man inside must have trouble swimming through the sound stage.

ETA 2: Oh my god, I wish everyone could see this beautiful stupid movie because it just had the best scene ever, to rival Bela Lugosi's infamous octopus scene, and I quote: "The comic highlight of Tim Burton's ED WOOD is a scene featuring a stuffed octopus that Wood used as a prop. Since he didn't have the necessary motor, Bela Lugosi threw his body down upon the puppet and, in an attempt to create the illusion of mobility, wrapped the creature's limbs about his torso." In fine cinematic tradition, the gritty psychotic hero of our movie just performed astonishing acrobatics in which he manfully thrust his legs into the styro-foamy jaws of the croc while hanging from a pipe and *pulled* the creature forward to simulate attack. Ha ha ha I really need to leave the house now.
the pound sign is silent.: curiouslattara on December 28th, 2003 12:31 pm (UTC)
You're bored, aren't you? I can tell.
Anna S.eliade on December 28th, 2003 12:35 pm (UTC)
You're uncanny! It is true. I am bored. And there is no mayonnaise in my apartment.
the pound sign is silent.: curiouslattara on December 28th, 2003 12:48 pm (UTC)
This is a great shame. There should always be mayonnaise. I have mayonnaise. Nyah, nyah!
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.eliade on December 28th, 2003 12:35 pm (UTC)
You and your strange little oblong-faced man icon are welcome!
Pouncerthepouncer on December 28th, 2003 12:49 pm (UTC)
Oh! I've read some of his periodic table stories at scifi.com. Months ago, but I remember liking them.

I hope your sandwich is lovely. I sliced some of the Christmas filet of beef last night and ate it with mayo and field greens on multi-grain bread. I don't know of a finer sandwich. Especially since the beef was so very rare. Mmmmm.

What croc movie is this? Lake Placid?
Anna S.: pirate_jackeliade on December 28th, 2003 12:59 pm (UTC)
What croc movie is this? Lake Placid?

I am glad you asked, and no. "Lack Placid" is to this movie what "Citizen Kane" is to "Plan 9 from Outer Space." This is called "Blood Surf," a title with complex layers of meaning--or perhaps just two--signifying both the "new extreme sport" of surfing chum-soaked waters with killer sharks and also the tragic and ironic fate of those innocent and oh-so-stupid surfers when they are attacked by the giant croc, thus drenching the "surf" with their "blood" and also some tasty entrails.
Anna S.eliade on December 28th, 2003 01:02 pm (UTC)
I should note that the croc movie has now ended to be replaced with "Gargantua," starring Adam Baldwin of "Firefly" fame. Another evil sea-creature movie, which is currently dragging two lovely and very stupid girls off into the surf.
Pouncerthepouncer on December 28th, 2003 01:03 pm (UTC)
Oh my. I shall have to be on the lookout for Blood Surf in the local Blockbuster. To avoid it til the end of my days!
ineke on December 28th, 2003 03:55 pm (UTC)
It sounds like an Australian movie. Blood! And surf! And giant crocodiles! Oh, and killer sharks! Actually... (hmm!)... that doesn't sound too far fetched from reality. Apart from the floating tasty entrails. The giant jellyfish would eat those.
resonant8 on December 28th, 2003 02:27 pm (UTC)
How could you make a comment-disabled post disrespecting my pro-brussels sprout lifestyle? Come on ... I've got recipes ...
Anna S.: scary_girleliade on December 28th, 2003 02:31 pm (UTC)

God will smite you! God will smite you!

*flees from you*
Divya_divya_ on December 28th, 2003 05:30 pm (UTC)
Are you sure you wouldn't be interested in these brussel sprout brochures? You could come to a meeting, really it wouldn't take much time and you wouldn't actually have to *eat* any, well, not the first time.... I'm kidding. I don't like them either. I'm so naughty. Feel free to smite me. Or have God do it, whatever.

Mely: the one ring (by nestra)coffeeandink on December 28th, 2003 03:17 pm (UTC)
(1) "Melymbrosia" was the title Virginia Woolf gave an early version of her first novel, *The Voyage Out*. It's a nonsense word made up of "ambrosia" and the Greek word for "honey." I suppose you could translate it as mead. I picked it because I thought it would work as a unique pseudonym and, also, it's pretty. What? I can be girly. And now I can be embarassed at how overwrought it sounds whenever I have to introduce myself to fannish/LJ types in person.

(2) Michael Swanwick is a critically acclaimed science fiction writer who's won a boatload of awards for his novels and short fiction. I particularly recommend his collection *Tales of Old Earth* and his novels *The Iron Dragon's Daughter* and *Stations of the Tide*, although they won't (obviously) give you that short-short zing.

(3) I like brussel sprouts. Can't we all just get along?
Barb: numfarrahirah on December 28th, 2003 03:23 pm (UTC)
I was going to pimp The Iron Dragon's Daughter, but it's already been done, drat it. Swanwick good, stories pretty.
namastenancynamastenancy on December 28th, 2003 07:16 pm (UTC)
I'm going to parrot Barb.....Swanwick good, stories pretty, brussels sprouts awful. Ptttiffff!!!!

namaste SF Nancy
Sandyglassslipper on January 2nd, 2004 07:56 pm (UTC)
Buffy Season Noir
Hi there! I just came across, somewhat randomly (I think from a link on willa_writes's LJ, but I lost track) your Buffy Season Noir fic, and I'm still kind of stunned. I read episode zero and it is fantastic! I was so busy laughing and gasping in admiration as I read it that I didn't stop to pick out all my favorite lines, so I can't list them for you, but I am thrilled to have found this fic and will proceed to read more as soon as possible. I've read a lot of Buffy fic since I discovered it about six months ago, and it is better than Christmas to find more unknown and incredibly well written fic (by which I mean yours). This internet world is so big -- wish someone brilliant would just post a list of the actually really good writers and save us all the hunting around...

I am going to friend you because (1) you are an incredible writer and who knows if that kind of thing rubs off, and (2) I like to expand my FL horizons every so often. I did read your intro entry, I don't need to be friended back, and I don't mind if you don't reply to my comments.

Happy New Year!
mf: musicthe_emef on January 10th, 2004 06:05 pm (UTC)
hi anna,

it's been two weeks since your last post. I miss you. I really do.

just sayin'
Divya_divya_ on January 11th, 2004 11:59 pm (UTC)
It has been two weeks since your last post, and I miss your lovely entries, and please come back and no pressure and all that, but do you realize that you're missing wiseacress S/X porn? Like, a ton of it? :o) Go catch up, in case you haven't seen it.

(Anonymous) on January 12th, 2004 11:10 am (UTC)
The Brussels Sprout
In case you are quivering in a fortified bunker somewhere, let me assure you that the Brussels Sprout is NOT a terrorist threat to America.
(Anonymous) on January 19th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)
Brussel Sprout Concern
Dear Anna

We are increasingly concerned about your long silence. Have you been kidnapped by representatives of the International Brussel Sprout Distribution Industry? Are you being held hostage? Is there anything we can do? Honestly, we are more than willing to boycott said Revolting Vegetable, and will initiate a direct action campaign to prevent any further BS exports from our country. Especially the frozen ones. Forthwith. Please notify.

Recent update: One of our number is even prepared to embark on kamikaze BS-eating mission to prevent exports, if only they'll release you.

Your NZ fan contingent (lower North Island division),
ruthless1ruthless1 on January 23rd, 2004 01:41 pm (UTC)
Where are you Great Mistress of the Word? We all miss you. I am imagining you tucked away in a lovely little mountain spot, writing furiously for hours every day while scantily clad (it's a warm mountain spot - well away from the awful weather of the midwest) waiters and waitresses fulfill your every wish. They are there to replace the pencils you chew up as you think of even better plot bunnies to embark upon. The feed you all manner of tasty treats and never even utter the word B###### Sp####.
I truly hope all is well in your world. I am personally battling any and all Brussel Sprout Demons that are headed your way.
Be well...