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11 December 2003 @ 04:39 pm
I *am* your mutant enemy.  
It's been an intense week at work. I come home at night and crash like a bauble-laden Christmas tree falling over, or at least I would if I were a different sort of woman, baubled and big-skirted and tipsy.
These metaphors just never work out for me.
Basically I'm tired. And I've been dealing with a sprained ankle all week. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that some form of exertion is to blame, like vigorous exercise or a misguided, gazelle-like sprint to catch a bus. HA HA HA. No. I sprained this ankle merely by existing. An existential sprain, you could say. Usually those only occur late on Sunday nights when I've had too much whiskey and am wondering why I never took that job on an Alaskan fishing boat. This is self-doubt given flesh. Maybe.
I probably shouldn't be typing this while I'm struggling through the Bon Marche phone menu, because otherwise you would be spared my seething desire to track down the inventor of phone menus and gut them slowly with a dull spoon, and then chuckle contentedly as perky terriers growl and play tug-of-war with the dripping ribbons of their intestines.
Hello, my patron saint is St. William the Bloody, patron of alcoholics, bad poets, and thwarted murderers.
St. Will doesn't sing like an angel, I admit, but when he croons "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest," I go all melty. A lovely sweetie who may want to remain nameless sent me the official Once More with Feeling soundtrack. I have a bootleg of course, but have been pining fangirlishly for the official version. I mean, the cover art alone: wrong, wrong, wrong--and hysterically funny--renderings of the characters. Tara in particular looks like a psychotic muppet, with a red nose, as if she's been drinking just a bit before hiccupping into song. It also has Jossian babble masquerading as liner notes. I love it.
Speaking of drunken muppets, I wish I could show you the spam I just got which shows a ludicrously leering and upbeat woman taking it from the rear by a man who is being "treated like a king" by some sadly wanktastic online porn service run out of a garage by a guy named Ted who will soon be hooked on painkillers and coke and abusing his long-suffering boyfriend. The chick looks a bit like Tara, if she'd been living on the streets for a few years and then went to cosmetology bootcamp with Tammy Faye Baker and found god, but everyone who saw her assumed she'd found porn instead and one day she was offered five bucks to get on all fours and baa like a sheep, so she shrugged and said eh, why not, did some coke with Ted before the photo session, and woo hoo, there you go, I have spam.
You guys should do that meme where you tell me something about yourself. All of you. ALL OF YOU.
Because I have 51 minutes left here at the office and I may not make it.
Strange Rambling Writer Chick: Menchi soft and tender (jaddziadax)debxena on December 11th, 2003 04:47 pm (UTC)
Something about me: I like to whirl in circles.
Anna S.: akbareliade on December 11th, 2003 06:36 pm (UTC)
Do you like to whirl in circles on one of those whirly office chairs though? :)
(no subject) - swmbo on December 11th, 2003 06:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - debxena on December 12th, 2003 01:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
A carbonated fusion beverage!: evilswmbo on December 11th, 2003 04:51 pm (UTC)

My favorite Muppet was Animal.

I'm always faintly nervous ANY time I have to go up and down steps, including the steps of my home.

I'm a coffee addict.
Anna S.: amber_sereneeliade on December 11th, 2003 06:37 pm (UTC)
I'm always faintly nervous ANY time I have to go up and down steps, including the steps of my home.

Me too! I have pretty bad ankles.
laurashapiro on December 11th, 2003 04:53 pm (UTC)
You guys should do that meme where you tell me something about yourself.

What meme would that be, then? You want a random thing? I could give you a random thing.

When I take my lunch at the swankier-than-normal burrito joint on the little alley off of 5th Street, I often pass an unusual person. S/he's always dressed the same way: men's black trousers, a little the worse for wear; black leather jacket in a masculine bomber style, and a black...it appears to be a leotard, cut wide and low to show off the big rack on this...guy, I think.

S/he has a really, really masculine face, a man's haircut, a face free of any sort of cosmetics, and a hefty het-guy carriage like your average browser in a comic book shop. Apparently southeast Asian, s/he has lovely cafe-au-lait skin, smooth and creamy. And s/he always seems to be hanging out around the tall mall, at 5th and Market, showing off an impressive (if fake-looking) cleaveage. Seriously, there is *nothing* the slightest bit womanly about this person except his tits.

Normally I have few "issues" with folks of indeterminate gender. I look, I appreciate, I move on. But this individual has me completely dumsquizzled. I can't figure out what s/he's about, at all. That's San Francisco, I guess.
Anna S.: winter_lightseliade on December 11th, 2003 08:49 pm (UTC)
That's a fantastic description, sweetie. I think I'd feel confuzzled too. *g*

So what are you up to this Thursday night, hmm?
(no subject) - laurashapiro on December 12th, 2003 10:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Anna S.: spuffy_kisseliade on December 11th, 2003 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, baby. I was told I started to read very early too. I think around age four. Sounds like you started earlier? Precocious child! :>)
(no subject) - miggy on December 11th, 2003 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eliade on December 11th, 2003 09:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ansin on December 11th, 2003 04:53 pm (UTC)
Listen to this. Your boredom will disappear. Mine has!

So lick lick lick, suck suck, unroll the condoms and fuck fuck fuck....
Anna S.: angeleliade on December 11th, 2003 06:38 pm (UTC)
I must grab that tomorrow when I'm at work again. *g*
eaceac on December 11th, 2003 04:54 pm (UTC)
Well, you did say all of us, and who am I to defy you?

I'm Eva. I'm 33, and in the middle of a MA in Information in Ann Arbor, MI. I think my life was permanently shaped by the application of Emma Peel while very young.

(I've got you friended under my reading journal (eacread) which I never actually log into.)
Anna S.: byzantiumeliade on December 11th, 2003 06:44 pm (UTC)
Well, you did say all of us, and who am I to defy you?

Quoteth Olaf the Troll: "What are you fighting for, minuscule blonde one? You cannot defy me!" (Okay, I added that last part.)

Hello, hello! :)
rock.steady.: saava know becominghecatehatesthat on December 11th, 2003 04:54 pm (UTC)
Okay now, I own the official soundtrack, but I must never have been bored enough to read the episode synopsis, because I know I would have remembered this line:

Still angry with [Buffy], Spike holds her so that she doesn't explode

...because that is just... just. Wow. *dies laughing*

And random tidbit about me: I loved sucing on pickles as a toddler.
Anna S.: kandinskyeliade on December 11th, 2003 08:52 pm (UTC)
And random tidbit about me: I loved sucing on pickles as a toddler.

But at least you weren't sucking on toddlers as a pickle.
vi, miss vylit if you're nastyvylit on December 11th, 2003 04:56 pm (UTC)
The use Softlips mint chapstick, I prefer opals to other stones, and the song Piano Man always makes me cry.
Anna S.: deco_hateliade on December 11th, 2003 06:45 pm (UTC)
Opals are gorgeous--especially fire opals. I fell in love with a fire opal when I was very young and have never really gotten over it. I could never possess that fiery beauty, and now, aged and alone, I cry for what might have been, much as the loons cr--um, I'm going to stop talking now.
Magaretttmagarettt on December 11th, 2003 04:56 pm (UTC)
Hey, Anna, I think you're super.

And about me -- I'm nineteen, my name is Maggie, and I have a stuffed wombat on my desk.
Anna S.: angel_oz_gayeliade on December 11th, 2003 06:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you--you're very sweet. :>) And wombats rock. They are so freaking cute! I've loved them for years; there was a writer named Wombat in X-Files and she was hysterically funny and so not only do I associate cuteness with wombats, but an intense giggly feeling....
irfikosirfikos on December 11th, 2003 04:57 pm (UTC)
i once asked my friend popecorky if there was anything he hadn't done. his reply was, "well... i've never stuck anything green up my butt."

which is a good thing to know about a person, i suppose.

i've never stuck anything green up my butt.
Anna S.: brianeliade on December 11th, 2003 06:40 pm (UTC)
Good, because you know, with all that talk of muppets...the sacrilege against Kermit would have been too terrible to contemplate.
light of other daysiliadawry on December 11th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)
I'm distressed by the fact that the text for this entry is bigger than the text for all the others.

In other news, my favorite color is charcoal grey.
all right, so you're nonchalantrunpunkrun on December 11th, 2003 05:11 pm (UTC)
Okay, I am *also* distressed by that. I thought it was just me. So there. That's something about me. I get upset by textual anomalies.
(no subject) - eliade on December 11th, 2003 05:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - runpunkrun on December 11th, 2003 05:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ratcreature on December 11th, 2003 06:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - eliade on December 11th, 2003 08:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Dani Mephistopholes: Dawn- ubervamp guillible -starlight1221astarte99 on December 11th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)
Hmmm.. random facts. Definitely getting random (I am doing different ones for each).

- I have broken my nose 3 times. And had over 30 total bone breaks/fractures in my lifetime, and many many dislocations. This is what happens when a fragile klutz decides that doing dangerous things (like playing tag running across beams in a barn 40 feet above a cement floor) is the only way to have fun. Good thing my parents had good insurance when I was small. I have a very thick medical file.

- When I have a crush on a girl, I tend to write terrible poetry on their behalf. However, unlike William, I have the sense to keep it to myself. I have notebooks full of words which will never see the light of day. Some have tried to bribe me into showing them what I wrote, but to no avail.

- I am dyslexic. This makes reading over long legal documents and lists of numbers quite an adventure.

- I hate banana cream pie. I much prefer coconut cream. The boi I dated in high school loved BC so we were always trying to order the opposite one for each other when we went out to eat. Oh, the maturity of high school relationships. *grins*

- I went to Vegas this last April and the high point of the trip (no puns intended) was eating at the round'the'world revolving restaurant. Amazing view, increadible food. Highly recommended.

- I love sashimi. mmmmmmmm......

Anna S.eliade on December 11th, 2003 08:53 pm (UTC)
My goodness that's a lot of breaks! I don't envy you. *hugs*

Coconut pie is excellent!
Cristin Anneladysorka on December 11th, 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)
I own close to 500 CDs.
Anna S.eliade on December 11th, 2003 06:46 pm (UTC)
You know, I could nearly have paid off my student loan with that. Of course, as I sit here contemplating my new Firefly and Buffy season five DVDs, it occurs to me yet again just why that loan remains outstanding.
I am not the fine woman you take me forwrenlet on December 11th, 2003 05:04 pm (UTC)
I read thirteen other people's comments before I thought of one of my own.


I always liked Hardy Boys better than Nancy Drew. And I wish I could order the old Danny Dunn series for my kiddo.
Dani Mephistopholes: BA eternalastarte99 on December 11th, 2003 05:14 pm (UTC)
I always liked Hardy Boys better than Nancy Drew

Amen! I never had any appreciation for Nancy Drew growing up, but I read every Hardy Boys, most of them several times. I think that I have a collection of the old hardback ones somewhere.... *ponders*
(no subject) - eruthros on December 11th, 2003 06:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
"She Who Procrastinates"logovo on December 11th, 2003 05:05 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, that meme thing.
I've written to you a couple of times, I think when you were in the XF fandom. Adored In a Dark Time and your take on Dale Cooper in a The Value of Pie. I believe the first blog I read was yours, before I even *knew* what a blog was.

Something about myself: I'm from Tijuana and learned english by watching 70s cartoons and reading Stephen King novels. How's that for scary?
Anna S.: lex_scotcheliade on December 11th, 2003 06:48 pm (UTC)
Oh hey! I had no idea that was you; of course I remember you. You're Liliana, right? (Um...or maybe not. Am I anywhere close?)
(no subject) - logovo on December 11th, 2003 07:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)