December 16th, 2005


winter life, writing, and sga fandom

I stayed home again, knocked out by tiredness. I'm traveling next week and didn't want to risk getting run down and sick on my only real vacation this year. But I'm finally starting to feel more rested, I dealt with some billing issues I'd been dragging ass on, and my car situation is not dire, it turns out--also, Seattle holiday bash tomorrow. All these are good things.

It's stupid how tired I am though. I'm not sure if it's the midwinter slump or something else. Meds definitely need adjusting. Note to self.

I appreciate all recent feedback. I know there are some new people reading here, so I should say that I'm not always good about answering feedback. But I love it. Every piece of feedback is like getting a tiny fuzzy kitten lobbed at me so that it hangs on my sweater with its sticky claws, mewling. A simile taken too far. I'm also not always this prolific either. I just came off a nonprolific streak actually.

This doesn't even feel prolific. It's great to be writing anything, but it's kind of lazy writing, where I unintentionally repeat words within the space of a few paragraphs, and use approximate word choices instead of the best, and take drastic narrative shortcuts--but more of an issue is not paying close enough attention to voices or pausing now and then to question the breezy character elements I'm writing. If I were patient and self-disciplined enough these days to let my cookies bake for a while before serving them, instead of feeding my guests raw cookie dough, I'd be rewatching eps and studying voice patterns, and researching Stargate pseudoscience, and boning up on canon timelines and backstories, and so on.

The way I'm writing these days is probably a combination of fannish ADD, feedback addiction, and a problematic need for instant gratification, all of which reflect my bigger real-life issues. But I'm not beating myself up over it really; and if I came across one of those rants where someone complains about how LiveJournal and speed-scribbling and crackfic are destroying good old-fashioned fandom, I'd be just as cheesed off as I usually get.

And, hey, just to round out my litany of mea culpas, I'm also behind on leaving feedback and making recs. There have been so many amazing stories coming out lately that I'd feel glutted if I weren't a hobbit, perfectly capable of devouring fiction all day. First breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, tea...etc. I hope to eventually make up for these omissions in some way, even if I am usually ninety percent good intentions and ten percent follow-through on things like that.

Here's something I'm finding about SGA as a reading fandom: I'm enjoying slash, het, threesomes--including m/f/m threesomes, which I *never* read--and mpreg--and *gen* (what is more mind-boggling, the mpreg or the gen?). This all feels new and different. I don't remember having this experience in other fandoms. BtVS comes closest, but SGA has tipped me right over the edge into sluttishness. Rodney/Teyla makes me squee. I just read *Rodney/Elizabeth*, and want more.

(Um. Does anyone have recs for good Rodney/Elizabeth?)

That's all the fannish content I have. In other news, I had a complicated narrative dream last night about lesbian politics that played out like a jocks-versus-nerds movie, or some variation on "PCU", and resolved itself in a pitched battle of Gay Pride parades.

I also watched the movie remake of "Bewitched" the other day and actually liked it, but then again that was the day I had brain fatigue.

In closing, I'm sitting in a café with hot coffee after eating ginger cookies; the walls here are hung with fairy lights, like the tree behind me; rollicking Irish music is playing, and a visible fire is burning in their open hearth sandwich oven; it's bright and almost cozy as I sit here looking out over the Capitol Hill traffic. And there's free wireless. If only my feet weren't so damn cold, I'd stay here all day.