October 13th, 2005

elijah

post of the day

sisabet: stop struggling with technology and buy fun gadgets. Household Fun Yay!

Last night, heart pounding with excitement, I bought a shoe organizer and some kitchen shelving that precisely fits the only space I have available, exactly what I've been wanting for a year now, so that I can store appliances that previously crowded every other surface. I immediately started mentally plotting dinner table placement--I don't have one now. I also hung pictures. Not mentally--actually.

Like Sisabet, I have advice for Better Living, and I use my coffee break to deliver it to the world.
1. Throw away crap you aren't using. Tissue paper, bits of string, that modeling clay you bought for some reason, the broken wristwatch you've vaguely been meaning to get fixed, the little glass figurines you got free with your tea-bags, the orphan house-keys from the place you lived in childhood. Just, seriously: trash them. Don't bother to box anything up for Goodwill, because you know that you'll never go there.

2. Break down those stupid boxes you got your computer in and trash them too. You're never going to ship your computer back to Dell if it dies. You'll have someone local fix it or get a new one.

3. You never watch those video tapes. You've got everything on DVD now. They're reusable but you have FIVE THOUSAND. You know there's a place that recycles them. But you'll NEVER MAIL THEM THERE. Keep half and toss the rest.

4. Stock up on cleaning products. You'll use them someday.

5. Divest yourself of all the clothes you never wear, especially if you've lost weight. If you keep them, you're just subconsciously planning to gain weight again.

6. Buy a really good shredder.

7. You can throw away things in your fridge even if they're not moldy yet. You also don't have to keep boxes of uneaten cereal. You've forgotten when you bought them and they're probably more than six months old. Time passes quickly. You can also throw away wrinkled, unfinished toothpaste tubes and bottles of shampoo with a dubious-looking inch left in the bottom.
I probably sound like a typical first-world waster, but I don't care. It's just not worth it. And if you live in an urban neighborhood, people will forage and clean out your dumpsters of anything useful anyway.
elijah

omg

I came back online after two hours of meetings. o.O

I'm going to lunch now, but I'll be back and writing for you after that! (A few dribbles at a time until end of work day, and then more tonight!)

*runs in search of sandwich*
elijah

*wtf?mpmmmph*

Had a five o'clock meeting (that should be outlawed) and only just now got off the phone with a project manager after 90 minutes. Now I need to commute home. But then I will give you a lapdance write.
elijah

yawn, mrraooowww, yawn...

I'm going to bed now but will be back serving writing sentences tomorrow, and will of course continue to keep you apprised of my every move, no matter how small. Please keep checking back for updates on my toothbrushing and pillow fluffing, followed by AP Wire reports tomorrow morning that will cover any breaking news on my coffee drinking and jam eating.

These sentences are good exercise, I'm finding. Also, you are creative and twisted people.