October 9th, 2005


short, questionable, and evanescent

You guys are sweet. I owe comments but I'm having an off day. Days. I have a bucketful of nothing to say. Idle 2-cent thoughts about movies (I commit myself on record as liking Constantine), Crazed Shopping I Have Done (unnecessary shoes, unnecessary nail polish, movies I don't even watch, too many silver rings), misc small dogs, the current season of As My Moods Turn, my erratically blooming popcorn addiction, blah blah blah. I'm a bad friend lately, a bad fan, and a borderline employee. I've actually been working pretty hard, but I have a project that's demoralizing me. I wish it had physical substance so that I could throw it on the floor and stomp on it until it died in a screaming misshapen eruption of gore.

I came into the office today to work on it, but nothing's perking. I sat for two hours the other day just trying to figure out the functional logic of the feature and nearly cried because sense, none. If I don't make progress immediately I'm dooming myself to...doom. Unfortunately I'm in a sluglike place of mind and will. I keep coming back to this place that I want to leave behind for good. Speaking of demoralizing.

I've been having little stabby thoughts about drinking more often this past week or two, but tomorrow is six months. So. Must conquer that.

I'm so tired right now.