August 27th, 2005

elijah

stargate atlantis: fandom of crack

I wanted to use the subject line "A tsunami of crackfic is coming straight for us" or something like that, but then I paused. You can't really make tsunami jokes any more, can you. I think it'll be at least another three years. I also risk someone bringing up my unwritten tsunami stories. For those of you glaring pointedly at me right now, I'm going to go hide in this field and demonstrate How Not to Be Seen. And then you can blow me up.

There was another point entirely--the new flashfic challenge posted by cesperanza is "The Harlequin Plot Challenge." So, okay. Let it be known: it happens, on occasion, that some misguided, generous fan kneels in my presence and cries, "Oh, Anna, you're so intimidatingly brilliant, I'm averting my eyes, O Lord!" And no matter how many I times I mention that there are other interesting things they could be doing down there on their knees instead of averting, it just never goes anywhere fun, and then I wake up. Disappointing.

The thing is that, quite often, and usually before noon, I'm really not all that bright. So when I saw the Harlequin Plot Challenge I read the details--the feisty untameable rodney meets his mysterious benefactor! -- the one where rodney is really, really rich and powerful and he sees john the independent girl and is like "i will pay you ten billion dollars to be my MISTRESS"--etc. And then I blinked vacantly several times and went to look up the word:
har·le·quin. Etymology: ultimately from Italian arlecchino, from Middle French Helquin, a demon. 1 a: a character in comedy and pantomime with a shaved head, masked face, variegated tights, and wooden sword; b: BUFFOON
And then I sat there for about forty seconds and tried to figure out how the plot examples could be logically associated with a challenge about demons, clowns, or buffoons.

And then I wondered whether the challenge required one of the characters to be female in every story. Really.

Anyway. I'm very excited about the Harlequin (Romance) Plot challenge. I hope for seriously beautiful ludicrousness in the results. Here is the story I will *not* be writing for this challenge because, for one thing, it in no way relates:

pheromones: "Wait a minute," Rodney said, eyes widening at Carson, "are you saying that my superhero power is the ability to turn men *gay*?!"

pheromones, part 2: John stopped dead in the corridor as if a security klaxon had just gone off and stared at Rodney. "Okay, just how many of my men have you slept with, anyway?" he said, voice rising. Rodney's face grew abstracted for a half-second of calculation. "Twelve. No, wait, thirteen." His surface blandness didn't even flicker--it was as if John had asked him how many sandwiches he'd eaten that day.

One plot bunny, free to a good home. *g*
elijah

saturday night

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I'm watching Batman Forever right now. Bad music, bad jokes, bad banter, Bat Nipples, Nicole Kidman vamping like an insane thing in black lingerie, Jim Carrey carrying his homoerotic hero worship above the sublevel, into the brazen sunlight of text, riiiiiight over the top. It is trashy and amusing, but it has moments.

So, dropping even deeper into the mundane, I have these two questions I've been holding onto and want to turn over to the web mind:

1. Can someone recommend a good popcorn air-popper? Mine always spits a load of unpopped kernels into the bowl, and leaves plenty in the machine too.

2. I have a new sonic toothbrush; at least a few times during each brushing it starts to stutter--I think that most of the time it's just that I'm using too much pressure, but sometimes it seems to happen for no good reason. Is this just typical of sonic brushes--has anyone had a brush long-term that does this, or is it likely that it's a flaw, worth the trouble of exchanging it?

Random Pessoa quote of the day: I am the outskirts of a nonexistent town, a prolix commentary on an unwritten book. If I could write one book of sentences like that, I could die happy.