August 11th, 2004


from the ridiculous to the real.

So I just got back from the dentist having heard the word that unnerves anyone at my time of life: biopsy. Apparently my wisdom tooth socket has spawned some kind of weird tissue growth and if it doesn't "resolve itself" in the next week, it's going to be cut off and sent to a lab somewhere for investigation.

It takes a special kind of neurotic to have the layered fears that I do about mutant cell growth: the first layer is an ordinary hypochondria and pessimism that I'll come down with a fatal disease; the second layer is a reality check--oh don't be ridiculous, those headaches aren't a tumor; and then the third layer is fear again, along the lines of, "It's exactly that dismissive attitude that Fate *wants* you to have, so that when it springs the big C on you, the joke is that much funnier."

Anyway. I know it's probably benign, but I brood.

In other news, in defiance of Fate perhaps, I've bought a bed--an actual bed! which I didn't have before--with a new mattress, a mattress with taut young abs if you will, and the same day bought an iPod. I also binged a little on my first pair of prescription sunglasses ever, in the hopes that they would cut down on the odds of a traffic fatality, mine or someone else's, along with regular glasses, which are very Harry Potterish. I won't say I resemble Harry as in a mirror, but on the spectrum of "you're delusional!" to "that's uncanny!" I've been nudged a bit further toward cuteness, I think. I also drove around Washington's Olympic Peninsula for a few days, which was pretty neat, despite that it tormented me with bad food and constant road work. I read Bill Bryson during my trip, but before that I read a Stephen King book, Insomnia, and have to say it didn't grip me. I used it mostly as a sleep aid, slogging through to the bitter end. And yet I want to read another; give him another try, you know.

I return to work on August 30, reminding myself that "You can't win the lottery if you don't *play* the lottery, Anna." Yep. Yep. Sigh.