April 17th, 2004



Gosford Park is one of those movies, like The Rock, where you have to boggle at the sheer *quantity* of cool actors in it. It's kind of a boring movie, actually. Both of them are. But Gosford makes for great background noise--pretty pictures with the sound off while I try to decide if I should go back to bed or leave the apartment for bacon and then go back to bed. My eyes have a sleepy, lightly sandpapered ache.

What is everyone doing this weekend? I'm curious. I want to browse through a list of other people's lives and compare mine against it.

A is going to the seashore...
B is riding ponies...
C is making a student film of her roommates...
D is in France, the bitch, eating baguettes on the Champs Elysees...
E has a hangover and is still in bed...
F is getting served breakfast in bed by her maid...
G is having a pedicure and reading Pure Drivel...
H is having fabulous multi-orgasmic sex with Clive Owen...
I is contemplating bacon...
J is working on her dissertation in a foul temper...
K is in a rocketship heading to the moon...!

Sigh. You can lie if you want. Or confess what you *want* to be doing and then what you're *actually* doing. Meanwhile I'll be off somewhere either covered in bacon or sandwiched into bed.

and now, all is revealed...

I went and had bacon and eggs. Now I'm back on the couch, contemplating a nap. Just read through all comments on the last post so far--you guys are a cute hoot.

I will now be random.

"The Birds" is on cable. I went googling for info about how Hitchcock got the effects he did with the birds; didn't delve far but while browsing found this quote from a Salon.com DVD review:
The things that can be achieved today with computer-generated images are so realistic that they can't help appearing fake, while the artfully faked special effects of previous generations still retain an imagistic power that takes root in our imagination.
I so totally agree with that. I'm not the biggest fan of CGI.

Over breakfast I was re-reading "American Psycho," which I originally read in college. It's a fairly mesmerizing litany of brand names and name-dropping, very repetitive, but with a purpose, to capture a photographic likeness of human banality and the rage lurking underneath the surface. There's this bit where a girl is talking and talking and the paragraph just breaks off and we shift into Bateman's own self-absorbed zone of thoughts:
J&B I am thinking. Glass of J&B in my right hand I am thinking. Hand I am thinking. Charivari. Shirt from Charivari. Fusilli I am thinking. Jami Gertz I am thinking. I would like to fuck Jami Gertz I am thinking. Porsche 911. A sharpei I am thinking. I would like to own a sharpei. I am twenty-six years old I am thinking. I will be twenty-seven next year. A Valium. I would like a Valium. No, *two* Valium I am thinking. Cellular phone I am thinking.
Yep, yep...yep. That's about how my brain functions most days. I also like the scene where he slips out of a restaurant conversation and starts an internal narration about a movie, "Inside Lydia's Ass." Overall--I mean, not so much that quoted bit, which isn't representative, but on the whole--the writing reminds me of Robbe-Grillet, but more interesting.

Christian Bale played Patrick Bateman in the movie. Now he's going to play Batman. Hmm.

I had to get up from the couch to get the book to type that quote. The lengths I will go to for writing...well, only about two yards, really.

In the twenty minutes since I started this post, by the way, the bacon has attacked. Bacon of death! Bacon of death! Big mistake. It was nice knowing you all--alas, alack, I am no more.

Final gasp, final gasp...fin.

Dear God.

Dear God,

I could ask you for a million dollars or a svelte body, or to turn back time so that I'm eighteen again, or for world peace, or for the president to be gnawed to death by beavers very slowly, or for all my friends to have happiness and good health, but I'm using my one wish to ask you to please, please, *please* cancel "Mad Mad House" so that I never have to see those fucking annoying commercials ever! again!

Thank you,

Your Favorite Atheist