February 24th, 2004


hello, insane.

I just realized that I know pretty much all of the words to the "Love Boat" theme song. I am disturbed. Who wouldn't be?

I'm about fed up with my stupid fantasies lately. I am so *very* bored with the rut of it all. Yet I thought I'd share the image of Femme!Spike that haunts my head most days. View the large version for better detail. (You know, how you have to click the little button in the lower right-hand corner? So annoying.) I may be the only person in the world who finds the "resemblance" uncanny, but never mind. Mmm, girlyspike...I wish I could exorcise the bitch. Also wish that Obsessed!Bearded!Xander would stop fucking her and distracting me when I'm trying to write noir.

I did write some Jonathan POV today for noir. Go, me. I finished a scene. Give me porn and chocolate. Yes?

I've really got nothing else to say. Except that I realized tonight that the Katherine Hepburn movie "Desk Set" perfectly represents my job. If you were wondering.

why usqaf is the serious crack

At the end of 2.16 ("Great Expectations"), Brian stops at a flower stand outside a market and picks up a bouquet of roses and thinks about bringing them home to Justin, who is aching for a demonstration of love and romance--who is at home that *very* moment, listening to Ethan's violin music and imagining a future with the Other Guy--and meanwhile the shop guy asks if Brian wants him to wrap the bouquet for him and Brian stands there a moment, sunk deep inside himself, then says no, and puts the bouquet down and walks away, alone, down the rain-slick sidewalk through the trees, at night, going home to Justin, not realizing he is making a horribly ill-timed mistake in not making that *one* tiny gesture that might have changed everything, not realizing that his "principled" anti-romance stance makes Justin feel unloved...

...and we end the episode and segue to Rufus Wainright's "Poses."

Mmm. Pain, angst, joy just waiting to sprout.