November 19th, 2003


bad dreams

A long dream about being trapped in an asylum with a serial killer woke me around five. Half my revulsion came from how dirty and decrepit the asylum was. As in so many other dreams, I felt compelled to try and tidy it, so I spent most of the dream simultaneously wrestling out of my killer's grip and sweeping the floors. Dreams suck.

Then I dreamed, just now, that the BtVS cast came to "Angel" and, apparently for lack of any other inspiration about what to do with them, ME started killing the characters off. I was watching late in the season and as I realized how it was all going to be this downward spiral of death--everyone succumbing to fate one by one--I got incredibly depressed. Oz was killed as I watched. He was half in werewolf form and this giant meat-hook swung into his lower back. He began screaming and dewolfed and for a minute no one came to help him; they were all busy fighting. Then Xander ran over and tried to get him down, but Oz's eyes were glazing over and he was bubbling out something, some bit of knowledge from Buffy that he wanted to pass on before he died. Later, after he was dead, everyone returned to their garage and looked for Willow (including Tara, who was alive, so I guess that balances things out a bit) but couldn't find her, as she was off grieving.

I wish I could take today off, but my manager has been out sick for two days, so that would be bad timing. Sudden mood swings indicate...situation normal. My icon signifies the serenity I don't have.

tiny, random scene from my head

The soldiers manhandled Buffy away from the tent with a sword to her throat. She could see that the others had been surrounded; weapons bristled in a circle with her friends at the middle. "Okay!" she said angrily and wrenched at the hands gripping her. The hands dropped; the sword was lowered. Freed, she moved toward the others.

Giles was holding himself still, posture suggesting caution and an attempt to appear unthreatening. "Buffy, I think we may need to let this issue go for now. As long as Spike isn't being harmed, our efforts to free him are likely to be taken poorly. We're needlessly antagonizing them." At them he gave a subtle turn of his head to indicate the soldiers.

"Giles, they put a collar on him. He can't speak or fight--we don't know what Braveheart in there's going to do to him."

"He probably just wants some pretty man to pour his wine and give him blow-jobs," Anya said matter of factly. The men's faces turned queasy. Giles shifted his gaze down and cleared his throat while Riley blinked several times, opened his mouth, then closed it again.

Xander took a deep, uncomfortable-looking breath before saying, "Well, it's not as if Spike doesn't have some karmic payback coming."

Willow frowned unhappily at him for this remark. "Xander. We're talking about rape."

"Oh for god's sake, he's a vampire," Anya said. "He's done everything under the sun, except, of course, not under the sun. He's probably been buggered six ways from Sunday."

"Anya does have a...colorfully expressed point." Giles glanced at Buffy. "What might traumatize a human is unlikely to stir more than annoyance in a vampire. In fact, given Spike's tendency to manipulate circumstances to his advantage, he may be better situated than ourselves."
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