November 10th, 2003

elijah

greetings from the great white...

I suppose that could be me, or the North, or the shark. Or the hope.

There is a defibrillator hanging on the wall of the call center. I'm not sure what to make of that. When I hurriedly shoved down my lunch just now--ah the glamour of a three-martini lunch on an expense account frozen vending machine pizza in the breakroom--they were showing "Passions" on the TV. I'd never seen it. It was scary and kind of hysterical. I'm tempted to tape it, but then again, no. I'd really only want vid footage for years gone by, as story research, and even then...no.

I'm three minutes away from my big meeting of the day. It's been relatively mellow so far, knock on wood, except for the inevitable computer problems that occur on any business trip I've ever taken. Is there some kind of special Murphy's-style law for that?

Am in corporate drag. Face painted, hair tidy. But my feet are smelly. I have just realized this. I wore shoes I wouldn't mind getting destroyed by snow but it turns out they are my stinky shoes.

I am being called. Away!
elijah

still traumatized by my shoes

And the trip-blahs are hitting me in the head and stomach, a one-two punch of aches. I should be doing stuff right now, but it's 6:00 p.m. here and I don't want to.

Have caught up on friends list, con reports, community threads. Feel nauseous now and overstuffed on fandom. And by the way, I always like to second-guess myself, so I wandered over to m-w.com to look up "nauseous" just now and found this entry, which seems to fit my fannish mood so very well that I'll quote it in its entirety:
usage: Those who insist that nauseous can properly be used only in sense 1 [nauseating] and that in sense 2 it is an error for nauseated are mistaken. Current evidence shows these facts: nauseous is most frequently used to mean physically affected with nausea, usually after a linking verb such as feel or become; figurative use is quite a bit less frequent. Use of nauseous in sense 1 is much more often figurative than literal, and this use appears to be losing ground to nauseating. Nauseated is used more widely than nauseous in sense 2.
Doesn't this sound exactly like the tone of a list moderator who has become fed up with arguments on a subject and issues the smackdown? Cracks my shit up. Which is good, I needed a laugh, because fandom, today, she is not for me, how you say, a giggle. God, I'm irritable.

My trip reading is this book called "The Long Firm." It's sitting in my rental car right now. I couldn't remember the name of it. I googled "harry gay gangster london sixties" and it came up on the first result. Google is my bitch. And that search string should tell you what you need to know about it. It's not as interesting as I'd hoped, though, and not nearly as good and fine a thing as valerie_z's QaF story Blissed.

But despite Valerie's noble efforts to keep me amused--that was written entirely for my benefit, right?--I am cranky. Why is it that "cranky" means you've been irritated but you say "turn my crank" to indicate pleasure?

My ability to ask hard-hitting questions like this one indicates that I am heir to the tiny, useless empire of Andy Rooney. We know who he is, right? I can, like, put his name in a post and people will nod knowingly, I'm hoping, and not ask "Who's he?" as someone did the other day when Marlene Dietrich was mentioned. Actually they said, "Who's she?" so at least they grokked the gender, but still. The world is getting younger. I just get...not younger. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent. *flexes fingers, googles again*
CENTURION: We have reason to believe you may be hiding one Brian of Nazareth, a member of the terrorist organisation, the 'People's Front of Judea'.

MATTHIAS: Me? No. I'm just a poor old man. I have no time for law-breakers. My legs are grey. My ears are gnarled. My eyes are old and bent.

CENTURION: Quiet! Silly person. Guards! Search the house. [clomp clomp clomp...] You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harbouring a known criminal?

MATTHIAS: No.

CENTURION: Crucifixion.

MATTHIAS: Oh.

CENTURION: Nasty, eh?

MATTHIAS: Hm. Could be worse.

CENTURION: What do you mean, 'could be worse'?

MATTHIAS: Well, you could be stabbed.

CENTURION: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours! It's a slow, horrible death!

MATTHIAS: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

CENTURION: You're weird.
Yes, always look on the sunny side of life. Except when you're in North Dakota, and then you can get a pass. There is no sun here. The life part is also in question. But the women are shaped like me, and there will be drinking tonight. Then, much sleep, with a special guest appearance by Viggo.

Residents of Anna's Head stay in the tall and rectangular Holiday Inn Express when they visit Grand Forks. Other people who can should avoid this hotel and perhaps just skip ahead to Seattle.