August 20th, 2003


stuff at 12:44 a.m.

So I tuned into Queer Eye for the Straight Guy again this week, saw bits of the first half and all of the second. I had to keep muting it to get hold of myself because it made me cry so much. I loved that guy tonight; that cop. He just--I swear to god, he just killed me. I don't know what I might have missed from the first half but the surge of excitement and confidence he got after his makeover just made my heart knot up and twist into little pieces. I can't even write about it without dripping all over myself. Plus, watching the guys get worked up as they tracked his date made me want to hug them.

It's hooking me, it's hooking me, get it out!

Just kidding. I'm ready to be converted. I don't think the first episode was my conversion ep.

Watched Nip/Tuck. Maybe I'll talk about that tomorrow. Not too much on my mind after watching--some vague spoilers here--except that the writing is feeling a bit wobbly for the second week in a row--making a teenaged boy so insightful about his mother's needs is just wrong, for instance, though the actor was struggling manfully to render his character inarticulate as he delivered those pat lines. And Christian is Satan! I loved Lady Doc's wordless exit though. That was cold as shit. I like her! I think they're trying to do a "He's met his match" type deal, but we'll see.

Poem of the day.

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I'm chilled, man.

But LJ was a bitch last night! I made some edits to my last post and went to bed poised on the edge of doubtful trust, but my edits never took.

I dreamed this morning that I was in the living compound of a cult, where a psychic was telling me my future. At one point the old woman said, "You'll learn someday. You're only twenty now." And I yelled, "I'm *thirty-four*! Thirty-FOUR!" She waved this minor point off. Then we were drawn to the window, because in the courtyard cult members were persuading a young boy to do very bad things. What does he have in his hand? the woman asked. "A spyglass," I said. The boy, after taking aim, threw a rock at yet another woman through her own window. Going outside, I collared the boy to scold him, but the cultists surrounded me, preparing to kill me. Two were twins, young men dressed in dark suits, who resembled earnest Mormons except that they wore fabulous art-house neckties in brilliant colors. Thinking fast, I began complimenting their ties, stroking them and shimmying up to the nice boys, who seemed to take a shine to me in return. I tried to convince them I should not be killed by telling them about my little daughter.

I think I convinced them, because I'm still alive.

A white pigeon was on the bus this morning. It strutted down the aisle and stopped in front of a set of double doors and then waited patiently, facing them, until the next stop. Of course then it just stood there, because pigeons are incredibly stupid. But some guy gave it a little kick and it finally flew off.

I loved this post of estepheia's, which was the last thing I saw last night before going to bed. It has a few quotes from Joss Whedon on "getting a life" and fan-fiction, and it cheers me up. Go, Joss.

I have glimpsed the mouth of Hell. I have felt the soft whooshing sound as the demon casually attempted to Hoover my soul from its moorings, stab my very anima with the rusty ice pick of lethargy and small cash prizes, lower the collective social vibration to that of a small tree fungus atrophying somewhere in the rain forests of Peru. -- Mark Morford

why you should subscribe to Salon

1. The annual fee isn't that expensive, and you could share your subscripton with someone and alternate payments each year. (Or you can get a $6 month-to-month subscription to try it out.)
2. The content is progressive--or liberal, I guess, depending on where you stand--and interesting.
3. If you've been thinking about getting a newspaper subscription, get this instead. It's better than most locals, and it's online.
4. I could link to stuff and people could actually read it.
5. I won't have pimped in vain, courting legal reprimands by inappropriately excerpting text from their web site in a well-intentioned desire to promote them!
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Vid rec of the day

Beatitudes. New from laurashapiro. Go here, contact her if you need to, get the password to her page, and watch the vid. If you are a Buffy fan and you do not watch this vid, you will be missing out on something so transcendent I can't even come close to telling you. If you do not cry like a little child, I don't want to know you.

(Okay, I lie. I'll still want to know you. I'll just think you're on the crack!)

Go, watch, feel joy. :>)

oh my god.

Today is such a bloody frelling fantastic day! I can't believe this--all the incredible fiction and visual brilliance out there--and I'd never have thought it possible, but here is a second QAF story rec, and it's in.fucking.credible.

Lachrymose by Bianca. Rec lifted from silviakundera. Don't be put off by the POV--it turns out that second person is *perfect* at capturing that Kinneyesque quality of ironic detachment and personal aloofness--perhaps even his disassociation from himself.

You mustmustmust watch Laura's new BtVS vid, and you must read this story! Or I will bite you, you silly person! Bitebitebite!

I'm all excited and slightly caffeinated. I hope I can sleep tonight.