April 25th, 2003


negativity, yay!

Have managed to start my morning on the realization that I have spoiled people for next year's Angel. Me, the spoilerphobic mouse.

Woke from a dream that I had cancer, having read yesterday in the paper that we now have stronger proof linking cancer and excessive weight. It seems inevitable that I'll be Cancer Girl someday. I'm a mole-spotted meat puppet and I'm going to die badly.

Cannot seem to stop drinking. V.v. bad. Alcohol consumption: 1 kajillion ounces. That's what it feels like. Why don't I just bathe in it?

Dragging myself into work today is like trying to drag my own sodden corpse out of the river, down the hill, into a freshly dug grave.

But hey. estepheia has written some more S/X. I am going to go jab that into my veins now.

and now, a rebuttal.

Tried to find happy things this morning to counterbalance my gloom. My list so far:
1. Starbucks has Muppet finger-puppets. (Finger-muppets?) They offered to save me a Beaker when one comes in, as they sold out quickly. Very sweet of them.

2. I had a chocolate muffin and coffee, which was my ordinary substitute for a balanced breakfast, but always good.

3. Geeks talking about the Beach Boys in the elevator.

4. estepheia's story. Naked Spike. Naked Xander. Angst. There is no bad here.
Plus, I didn't read it this morning, but I've been meaning to rec circe_tigana's amazing story No Power on Earth, which kept me up past my bedtime and gave me a big fat authorial complex. It's mind-freakingly good, with dead-bang characterization and voice and plotted plausibility, and the hotness of Spike (which I single out because it's from Xander's POV). And see, I had pretty much written off the gay-in-Oxnard premise, but this proves that most things can be well realized by a good author.