April 5th, 2003

elijah

Damn...

I was going to do the squick meme (gacked from soobunny) because I've been watching so many memes float by lately without being able to muster any interest, and also because I just watched three episodes of Charmed in a row, and my brain is huddled over there on the floor, bug-eyed and quivering and holding a gun to its frontal lobe, so I wanted something to distract it.

But after writing a while, and mincing my words carefully, and still feeling deep wellsprings of bitchiness rising, I realized with frustration that I was not going to be able to give replies without offending every. single. person. I. know.

It's kind of sad. I mean, I'm a fairly live-and-let-live kind of fangirl most days. And yet when it comes right down to it, I want writers to cater to my precise and very finicky needs--and apparently everything else in existence ticks me off. Who knew?

Dark stories, unconventional pairings, fringe fandoms--yep, hate them all, except for the ones I approve of, like a whimsical queen. I want to let rip and scorch the earth clear of all of that junk, and plant gardens of fresh smut perfectly color-coordinated and arranged to my tastes.

Sometimes, you just have to back away from the rant, because it's so pointless. I'd froth for a while, and then five minutes later I'd get over it, and people would be staring at me with huge, hurt, angry eyes, and I'd be like, "Hey, I just wanted to slag off for a bit--I still totally respect your freedom to write stuff that I can't bring myself to read," and people would be like, "Ha ha, we understand, Anna! Now please! Go away and DIE, YOU FLAMING HELL-COW, DIE!"

Sigh. Restraint is hard, and boring, but it's the better virtue. Perhaps I can just sum up my feelings with these simple rules:

  • My fandom is big and hairy and cool. Yours is tiny and lame, like a shaved, crippled lab rat, and you should put it out of its misery. Here. Use this pencil.
  • My unconventional pairing is sexy. Yours, again, is lame.
  • My dark story is the correct shade of dark. Your dark story? Is creepy. Please seek therapy and stay away from children.

    There. Now I've said it. Shun me! Shun me hard!
  • elijah

    Vampire Starfish and LMPTM

    Herself and I were talking about vampires and amputation the other day. (Of course you were, Anna.) Our positions can be summed up thusly: Herself--AmpuYay! Anna--AmpuNo! Not in a kink way, of course, but in a consequences way. (And yet see me run away from her and hide.) So here are some of my thoughts on that, and I'm gonna make her post her own here if she wants to refute me. {g}

    Re Spike's scar, I said: Yeah, [it's odd that he has it] though I've always thought that since he got that from a slayer's sword, the weapon might have been specially blessed or something. I used to like to think the scar was in the shape of a cross, which might explain it also, but I'm not sure that it is. I haven't studied it for a while and don't know where I got that idea. I wrote a snippet--posted it recently--where Giles tells Spike that holy scars are psychosomatic. Then again, you know, Spike might simply have been so proud of a scar left by a slayer--might have wanted to be able to point to it in bars and brag about where he got it--that he had Dru carve it fresh again and again until eventually it stopped regenerating.

    Re: canon and regeneration for vampires. (Herself: Do I remember something about a vampire girl being a virgin every night, or is that from fanfic?)

    That's gotta be fanfic. Heh. Well--I could be wrong. It's not from Buffy, but I suppose it could be something from Angel I don't recall. There's not much in canon about regeneration, except for Spike in the wheelchair. And really, if a *spine* can regenerate, there's no reason not to think a limb could. It'd probably be very slow, though, which still lets you have your limping Spike for a long while--would also be facilitated by regular feeding (so that if he didn't feed well, it might never grow back), which of course helps explain why there'd be so little evidence of amputee vamps--most of them wouldn't have anyone who cared enough to hunt for them and would be killed as useless, or caught, or starve into a husk, or get knocked off by demons, or whatever.

    Moving on.

    And now, finally, my few, scattered thoughts on LMPTM, because I actually did make notes and was just too lazy to post. I was a bit feverish, so the tone of breathless excitement in the following bits dates back to that night. {g}

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