March 26th, 2003

elijah

on writing...

Why is it that I always measure success by the yardstick of a prolific, creative peak? As I end day four of my self-tasked writing schedule I've added maybe that many pages to my current story. And I measure this, like pretty much everything else I write, against that one sublime weekend where I wrote most of a 20,000-word story in two days...

...and it SUCKS. Argh! I tried not to think about it, so as not to set myself up for failure, but in my heart of hearts I wanted to end out my week off with both a new sidelines *and* a new noir story, and maybe a few vegetable side dishes. Of course, that's just lame-assably laughable. And I know, I know, I *know* already that I shouldn't think this way, and I know all the reasons *why*, but I'm just saying. Fuck!

I need a clone. No, wait. I need ten million dollars. I think that'd last me well enough until death, don't you? Can somebody *please* get on that? Thank you. I'll be over here, having a bath and a sulk, and thinking of Spike's horrifying wig silky golden curls, until my sulk melts into smirky, sleepy-eyed, smutty fantasies.