March 24th, 2003

elijah

Hello, World.

Dear Neighbor: Thank you for leaving your pubic hairs on top of the communal dryer. I will now embed them in a voodo doll and conjure the spirts of darkness to chow down upon your genitals. The next time I see you, may you be wan, limping, and confused!

Dear Cafe Boys: You've had to close down once already for financial reasons. Have you thought about dragging your asses from bed to open the place on time? And hey, what about preparing food for customers *before* you open? I usually have some respect for fellow slackers, but when you have no tasty scones for me, I curse your stubble and your hipster music and your tudes.

Dear Me: Stop fucking about in your LiveJournal and go write your fucking story already! Lame ass!