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18 November 2003 @ 10:44 am
rain and pigeons  
You know how at some point in your life, when you're young enough to still be in school and you're hating that trapped pointless feeling, you visit a big city, like on a field trip, and watch all the people going to and fro: they're grown up, they're wanding around in the middle of the day without needing a hall pass, they're carrying coffees and shopping bags. And you can't *wait* to grow up, because it's so glamorous--when you're grown up, you will go to a coffee shop every morning. The whole ritual of paying for your coffee and drinking it won't just be an occasional thing--you'll get to do it *every day*. The same for everything else--you'll get to eat lunch wherever you want, you'll have freedom of movement, you'll sit in the plaza among the pigeons with a croissant, et cetera.

And then you grow up and scrabble for a job and most days you're bored out of your skull and your main goal is just trying to stay awake, and your coffee ritual and lunch trips are just part of your larger rut, ordinary habits that you don't think about--the pigeons are annoying, the plaza is filled with co-workers you want to avoid, and you're constantly worrying about your student loans and your credit card debt and wishing you could take off to Tahiti or buy a new pair of shoes, and yet even when you *do* these things, there's very little joy in them. Very little in your life makes you stop and savor.

All of which is--oh. Wait. Hold on. It's not Monday...my angst is a day late. Now back to your regularly scheduled fannishness.

I kick you all, by the way. Kick kick kick! But I kick you because I love you: I want more people to comment on my last post and talk about vampires and morality and souls and stuff, so that I can suck your brains dry hear what you think. And yeah, I'm a whiiiiiiiiner, and am taking a five-minute break from being ashamed of this.

*macks on you all*
Herself_nyc: Shadowy Spike by exchangedherself_nyc on November 18th, 2003 10:54 am (UTC)
I read your very interesting post last night after 1 a.m. and was too braindead to respond to it, but I will go back and reread.
Anaxila / Babbles: homoerotic by puppetof_fandomanaxila on November 18th, 2003 11:01 am (UTC)
I want more people to comment on my last post and talk about vampires and morality and souls and stuff, so that I can suck your brains dry hear what you think.

People are being funny these days. I know I've read a couple of posts where the writer remarks on the lack of interaction recently on LJ (some chalk it up to Buffy ending and people dispersing, others not so much). I have noticed the same thing but never really commented on it and omigod I'm part of the problem! Lookie me - not contributing!

I can't comment yet because I have not been able to dredge up anything more insightful than "Wow. Anna is smart. And she uses her words real good". I blame the 7am meeting.
Anna S.: muldereliade on November 18th, 2003 11:04 am (UTC)
Hee. Okay, a 7:00 a.m. meeting excuses you. *g* Also, you praised my crunchy brain, so you also get a pass.


It's so wet outside, Amy. My feet are soggy. And it is grey. Hmmph. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like rain. In moderation. Oh, and--as I was coming in the building this morning, there was a visitor from India and he said, "It's always so rainy here!" And his host said with a straight face, "Oh, it's just today." I nearly snorted.
Anaxila / Babbles: fire bad by saavaanaxila on November 18th, 2003 11:55 am (UTC)
Rain bad. Except usually not, I agree. Rain usually good. Massive amounts of puddle and ick-inducing rain... bad! Soggy feet very bad.

Hey, maybe this is a perfect time for me to offer you a ride home from work tonight and save you from the damnable bus! You haven't been in my new car yet, which I think qualifies as an actual crime.

You only nearly snorted? Your self-control is impressive.

Oh god, I don't want to work! Save me!
Minim Calibreminim_calibre on November 18th, 2003 11:24 am (UTC)
I'll comment tonight. Honest. I swear I have deep thoughts about context that I've been mulling over for the better part of a week. They fit neatly into your discussion. Riffing should be happening. But I'm having wetness issues, so my brain's not working right.

Wetness issues: all the leaves came down Saturday night.

The leaves didn't go anywhere in between then and the deluge.

Clogged gutters and storm drains.

Everything is too wet.

Eastside drivers just... can't.


But my umbrella is very pretty.
Anna S.: seattleeliade on November 18th, 2003 05:52 pm (UTC)
My shoes are still wet from this morning. I hate wet leather toes. Gah.
Janean or just "luvs"luvs_phoenix on November 18th, 2003 11:27 am (UTC)
In answer to your question.


Wouldn't be a kid again though either. I'm thinking there were about 10 minutes, when I was 32, that I had a great time.

Ahhhhhhhh, good days.
mfthe_emef on November 18th, 2003 01:23 pm (UTC)
I want more people to comment on my last post and talk about vampires and morality and souls and stuff

so, ok, it's not a comment on your last post, it's on your post from sunday, but here you go : I keep thinking about that story, "summer lovin'", and what you said about it last sunday. I really liked the story.

but about your last post : what is PTSD?
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2003 02:54 pm (UTC)
Post traumatic stress disorder (http://www.ncptsd.org/). I think. At least, it's what that acronym usually means. Acronym Finder (http://www.acronymfinder.com/) can help you out somewhat when you don't recognize an acronym.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2003 04:09 pm (UTC)
Spike's journey
I really enjoy your discussion pieces.
I think Spike's journey has been a bit like growing up - at first, all he loves is his mother - his real mother, and then Drusilla, and I suppose Angelus, his "father" though more probematically. He also seems not to be very happy when the Judge kills Dalton - like, he was a less aggressive but nevertheless kindred type, a subordinate friend. Then he learns to love someone unrelated - Buffy - and in consequence, his circle of concern widens to include first her mum, then her sister, and later, to some degree, the rest of the Scooby gang. This is the sort of thing that happens to too many people - they care about a very few close friends/family, but would never consider going to fight the Fascists in the Spanish Civil War (reading "Homage to Catalonia"!). Many people never, sadly, get the ability to empathise much more widely, and do not really care about anyone outside their circle, or their town, or their race or country. So, while Spike got to this stage in his life, (albeit he was over 100), without a soul, once he got the soul, he started caring about a much wider group - including the boyfriend/worm he nearly killed, and the girl's dog "Poor Lucky".
I tend to regard humans who wouldn't "give it up for the puppy" as being equally "soulless" as any unsouled vampire.
But ME aren't going to go there.
Anna S.: spikeeliade on November 18th, 2003 05:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Spike's journey
I think Spike's journey has been a bit like growing up

Yes, I've seen those comparisons before--and the analogy can work for me, though some people seem to resist it on the grounds that Spike's nature as a vampire is changeless and essential. And ooh, just found this link that outlines a child's psychosocial development. Must post this.

he started caring about a much wider group - including the boyfriend/worm he nearly killed, and the girl's dog "Poor Lucky".

Hmm, I don't remember the dog factor--was that the same ep?

"give it up for the puppy"

Love this phrase. And yeah, good thematic stuff. Like in "Silverado." And, hmm, some other movie I want to name but can't think of.
(Anonymous) on November 19th, 2003 09:22 am (UTC)
Re: Spike's journey
In "Beneath You", after Spike has done his first soliloquy (having just speared the guy with a metal bar), he mumbles "Poor Lucky" before he rushes off...aw...

I think Spike's development was arrested or greatly slowed down by being turned - as a vampire, he had no need to grow up and learn to consider others apart from Dru, who, now I think about it, is more like his first little friend than his mum - they are both very childlike at the end of "School Hard".
namastenancynamastenancy on November 18th, 2003 05:08 pm (UTC)
We are not fit to comment on the gloriousness that is Anna. We simply worship her and read her words with awe.

namaste SF Nancy
Anna S.: buffy_mooneliade on November 18th, 2003 05:09 pm (UTC)
Awww, that's...kind of embarrassing actually. Stop! :)