Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

bored now.

I just ate a Hostess cupcake for the first time in maybe three or four years. It really, really sucked. I mention this in case you were thinking of emulating me. I know some of you were. Don't lie. "She mentioned Hostess Cupcakes," some of you were musing. "Why, you know, I could go for a Hostess Cupcake right! now!" By god. If I jumped off a cliff or even a very high curb into moderate traffic I know that you'd follow me like lemmings.

Lemmings, lemmings, lemmings! That's what you are.

Notorious Smut Peddler Cries 'Lemmings' at Shocked Fans

Oct. 23, 2003 | SEATTLE, Wa (AP) -- In a baffling and disturbing outbreak not seen since Farrah Fawcett's tragic Letterman guest spot, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fan-fiction author Anna S. castigated her readers today for being, "Lemmings, lemmings, lemmings!"

"I didn't know what to think," blogger and Star Trek alumnus Wil Wheaton said in a phone interview with our reporter. Sounding shaken and upset, Wheaton said, "I only hope that she gets the help she needs before it's too late. I hate to see a BNF ["Big Name Fan"] make such an appalling example of herself."

The fan-fiction community was rocked by the outburst, which came after the confessed partial ingestion of a Hostess Cupcake by the author. Some commentators have wondered if Anna S. will try to explain her LiveJournal post by falling back on the "Twinkie defense," a theory linking junk-food consumption to aberrant behavior, popularized in the legal defense of Dan White in 1978 as a partial explanation for his murder of Harvey Milk and George Moscone.

"Of course the 'Twinkie defense' is a well-known urban legend," said one LiveJournal insider who preferred to remain unnamed. "I doubt that she'll get very far with fans on that excuse."

Anna S. was unavailable for comment at the time of this report.
In other news, there's something terribly wrong when it's October 23 and none of my 300 cable channels is providing me with any Halloween horror-movie fodder. Jesus, people. Give me some gore already. I'm sitting here watching several suited men talk earnestly in someone's living room. I don't know what they're saying. Mute is your friend. They could be talking about their experiences in the San Francisco BDSM scene, but since this is "Dial 'M' for Muder," perhaps not.

Is it fair that I should be this bored? anniesj has done her part, writing beautiful second-person (!) S/X vignettes in tones of aching sadness. Go, Annie.

Go monkey. Choose monkey.

That is never not funny.

So in cartoons this week, they're doing guest-cartoonist strips. That'd be fun to do in LJ, I think. Mysterious Guest Journalistas write each other's posts and then put them up, each person trying to capture the other poster's tone and style and content slant. And then people have to guess who is posting for who. Whom even. I'd be all anxious though. Would people mock me with love?

I notice that when I post smut, I get lots of comments. And this is nice! When I post chewy thoughts on the human soul and the ambiguous nature of demon identity--not so much. I'm not inviting enough in style or something. Or again, my notorious lack of repsonsiveness is to blame. But you know, I *do* sometimes get absorbed in a back-and-forth discussion, swapping the gum of theory from mouth to mouth, bonding with other fans through the holy communion of mental spit. I'm just not especially predictable as to when I'll do so.

Also, is it so wrong to want people to squeeze some of their tasty, copious brain juice into comments even if I don't intend to continue a longer conversation?

Wow. This is the ultimate Wank of Shame. Listen to me whine for attention! I adore myself, I really really do. Your love is going to my head, I'm floating away like a gassy balloon of self-love, up into the rarefied atmosph...hmm, where'd my monkey go?

There is hash in my cupcake.
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