Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

good morning, vietnam.

I dreamed last night that I was a young, rich debutante and that I got pregnant. I was angry at my mother when she revealed--only after the fact, thanks--that there was a high rate of birth defects in our family and that the baby had a thirty percent chance each of being born retarded, dead, or crippled in the legs. "Do you think I would have gotten pregnant if I'd known this?" I yelled. "No!"

I don't know what that's about. Writing, maybe. "Do you think I'd have written this story if I knew it'd turn out stillborn? No!" Or something like that. Not that I have any particular story in mind. Ahem.

My fantasies have turned sadistic over the last 48 hours and I have been excessively libidinous, which means exactly what you think it means. For years I've been able to anticipate my bloody cycle by the penultimate premenstrual stress day, when I get depressed, exhausted, or quasi-suicidal. But sometimes that day isn't the gloom day, it's the "Jesus Christ, will someone just shove their fist up my &!#@#$% and put me out of my misery?!" day. It's fucking distracting. Distracting by fucking.

Overheard. One of my most quotable co-workers to another, in a deadpan, by-the-way tone perfected by Steven Wright: "Oh, L----, would you like to be disheartened?"

Now I am bleeding and squint-eyed and dubious about the day ahead. But not entirely in a bad mood, I am editing to add, just so people don't get the wrong idea.

  • (no subject)

    Just posting to wave hello, I'm alive, I'm maintaining. I haven't been online; mostly, I've been pacing out daily routines, or holding onto the rope…

  • (no subject)

    The week to two-week placement I'm currently in has turned into a potentially long-term month-to-month opportunity, and I accepted the offer this…

  • (no subject)

    LiveJournal is branding itself as "A global community of friends who share your unique passions and interests." My unique passions; those which I…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment