I am writing notes in real time--and what inane not-at-all-analytical notes they are! Yay me with the drinking and the rambling. I'm serious. These are the most off-the-cuff and goofyish notes ever. Thankyouverymuch.
And as it starts... Boy, they really zipped right into major plot twists fast! I am impressed. Clark's ring getting whacked, Lex coming home and pulling a gun on Bad Dad.
Lex really didn't waste any time getting cleaned up between the island and home, did he? Heh.
Jonathan: "Clark, you have to take this thing back!"
Clark: "Dad. I stole it from Lionel Luthor."
-- Oops! Sudden moral paradigm shift.
Oh cool, suicide--gorgeous drink. Now I want to put that in a story....
Lana: "'Hi.' I don't even know what to say to that, Clark." Most inane dialogue ever? You decide. "The only thing that keeps hurting me is you." Beeyotch.
Flashbacks & Exposition. Laaaaaaaame. And Helen looks like shit.
Clark & Edge on the farm--holy sheeeeeeeeet! Oh my god oh my god oh my god! How much do I love Vanilla Clark pretending to be Dark Clark? Eeeeee!
I'm getting a bit tired of Chloe/Clark scenes, which is sad. They have, like, nothing to talk about except (a) the many dysfunctional relationships they're involved in, (b) responsibility, (c) weird meteor-rock mutants.
"Three months on a deserted island was almost worth it to see the look on your face right now." Uh...what look? The slightly wooden uncertainty? Canon sucks. Let me repeat this: CANON SUCKS. You know why? Because all we get is an antiseptic hug and immediate segue to discussion of the farm.
Oh hey, the Lana Bitch. "You wanna cut the pretenses?" You know, I just don't understand their relationship. I can't tell if they really dislike each other of if they have a basis of friendship. It's so weird. My own emotional dysfunction colors my interpretation. They seem to emit feline antipathy for each other on a deep level.
"Clark has more issues than Rolling Stone." Hee.
The next scene with Helen & Lex makes me realize that I have already forgotten the exposition that Helen mouthed about the trip.
My feeling is that Clark *could* very easily get to both of his parents without a shot being fired, but that he is simply afraid that he might not. He doubts himself.
Ooooh, tasty SuperBlood. Um, that's a lot of blood from one little cut. And I love how the krypto-cut is supposed to seriously incapacitate him. Know why? Because otherwise he'd fucking take. them. out. Sigh. Plot Contrivances 'R' Us. But I guess they can have that one.
Would SuperBlood taste good to vampires?
*Gorgeous* shot of the harbor...wait...*the harbor*? In Kansas? Okay, well, it appears to be a lake. But still.
[Momentary aside: Do you know how long it takes for a Cheeto to go stale when exposed to air? Thirty-seven minutes.]
Ooh--nice plot twist with Edge & Lionel & the blood.
Action!Lana? Buffy!Lana? LAME LAME LAME!
Lex. Dude. You don't *make a toast* and then *not drink*. Even to make a point.
Lex has a silky enough bedroom voice to seduce a thousand
Boy. The cannon fodder is mounting--first the hired gun, now the pilot.
[Aside: Skinner on Tarzan! Huh. Sadly, I have no intention of watching the WB's new Lost Boy star vehicle.]
[Aside: Am I allowed to comment on the Angel *commercial* in this? Okay, fine, I'll save it.]
Oh, look. A convenient shoot-out that leaves all witnesses to Clark's secret dead. MY GOD, I NEVER SAW THAT COMING! Uh huh.
Another mark of my semi-drunken distraction: post-commercial cut, I have *no* *idea* what happened to the plane or Helen...wait, maybe I'm not supposed to know quite yet. (As of 8:49 p.m.)
Father. Son. Opera. (And a purple tie!) Cue heartstrings. Cue handshake. Awwwwww.
And boy...Lex really looks psychotic. In a good way!
"Guess you can't run away from the problem when the real problem is in your blood." Wait...is that an AIDS metaphor? (*cough*)
Lex and Jonathan reconciliation. Gift of the farm. Touching story. Compass. Fate! Yeah, whatever. Jonathan is touched and tearful and oh man, he is really, really fucking HATING THIS!
Lex: "I hope you'll just consider me part of the family"--CUT TO CLARK'S CHEESY GAY SMILE! Bwah. (Anna dies!)
Lana: "Clark, I know there are things about you you try to shield me from.... Whatever it is, I can handle it. I really want to know you."
Clark: "Lana, I'm gay."
Dude! DUDE! How much is his "disgusting" Metropolis rampage a metaphor for homosexuality? NO, REALLY! Oh my fucking god! I really am boggled by their willingness to fuck with the heads of the American viewing public.
I like the Dido song. Omar may mock it, but I celebrate the ovaries.